#75 – Are We Doing Enough? Tragic Loss of Two Former AFL Players This Week
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Episode Summary:
In this heartfelt episode of Sport Is Life, Ian Hawkins reflects on the tragic passing of former AFL players Troy Selwood and Adam Hunter, using their stories to highlight the importance of men's mental health. He explores the loss of purpose many men face after major life transitions, the dangers of not seeking help, and the need for ongoing mental fitness—just like physical fitness. Ian shares personal experiences and urges listeners to take responsibility for their well-being, support the men in their lives, and develop the skills to navigate challenges with confidence.
About the Host:
Ian Hawkins, host of "Sport Is Life," is dedicated to showing how sports can transform lives. With extensive experience as an athlete, a coach, PE teacher, community volunteer, and manager at Fox Sports, Ian brings a wealth of knowledge to the podcast. His journey began in his backyard, mentored by his older brother, and has since evolved into coaching elite athletes and business leaders. Ian's commitment to sports and personal development is evident in his roles as a performance coach and active community member. Through "Sport Is Life," Ian shares inspiring stories and valuable lessons to help listeners apply sports principles to all areas of life.
To access Ian's Performance Meditation Training, click here https://www.ianhawkinscoaching.com/performancemeditation and make sure you use the coupon "PODCAST" when you check out to get it for only $11.
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Transcript
So don't waste that time. Don't get push
Speaker:yourself to the limit. Doesn't have to be
Speaker:that way too many men doing it. If you
Speaker:know men in your life that that you know
Speaker:need some support, they need
Speaker:encouragement or even a kick out the arse
Speaker:and be that person because it's well
Speaker:worth having them react
Speaker:badly to you than you having to react
Speaker:badly because of something that's
Speaker:happened after that. Remember having
Speaker:I'm Ian Hawkins and this is Sporty's
Speaker:life. The purpose of sport, as I
Speaker:see it, is to see your vision become a
Speaker:reality, find your voice, create
Speaker:strong connections and learn to trust
Speaker:your body.
Speaker:With the tragic passing of
Speaker:former AFL players Troy Selwood and Adam
Speaker:Hunter this week. It kind of
Speaker:reaffirmed for me what I was already
Speaker:thinking is despite the fact that so much
Speaker:effort is going into men's
Speaker:health and so much of it's going into
Speaker:helping educate footballers and
Speaker:also set them up for life after football.
Speaker:These things still happen. Now
Speaker:there's no 100% confirmation, but it's
Speaker:just reading between the lines, it seems
Speaker:like one of them might have been an
Speaker:overdose and one of them may be asuicide.
Speaker:But both. I imagine would be a
Speaker:product of a sense of
Speaker:loss after football of not really
Speaker:having direction and not knowing.
Speaker:Well, losing that sense of purpose, like
Speaker:what's next? And.
Speaker:True for men the world over are that was
Speaker:definitely the case for me had
Speaker:children they were growing up and we'll
Speaker:see you now it'll be better than I am and
Speaker:just that was what I was lacking I was
Speaker:lacking that sense of purpose and
Speaker:you might relate or speak to men all the
Speaker:time they they go to their job they're
Speaker:kind of tied to it because of the pay
Speaker:packet maybe they. They
Speaker:enjoy it to a point, but you ask them,
Speaker:you know, you know, you must love your
Speaker:job. Is that what you really want to be
Speaker:doing? I just say, I say no. But they're
Speaker:not really sure what else to do. And, you
Speaker:know, some of them get made redundant and
Speaker:then same thing like they're, they're in
Speaker:that space where they're like, I'm not
Speaker:sure what to do next. I lose that sense
Speaker:of purpose. And you probably hear the
Speaker:stories about men who retire and then
Speaker:they pass away not long into retirement.
Speaker:And it's often the same thing. They lose
Speaker:that sense of purpose and.
Speaker:Obviously this is not a easy
Speaker:solution. It's a it's a complex problem.
Speaker:But again, it's like when, when these
Speaker:things happen, what has happened this
Speaker:week, it just always makes me think we
Speaker:could be doing this so much better. Like,
Speaker:are we educating people on how to deal
Speaker:with people who are struggling? Are we
Speaker:helping enough people,
Speaker:give them the skills not just to stay
Speaker:above the line, but to actually thrive?
Speaker:Like we, there's so much.
Speaker:Time, energy and.
Speaker:Airtime for all the drama and shit
Speaker:that goes on with the world, but there's
Speaker:just not enough around. Well, how do we
Speaker:How do we get healthier? How do we get
Speaker:healthier as a collective?I
Speaker:thought, yeah, it's frustrating because I
Speaker:know it doesn't have to be this way. I've
Speaker:been in that place. I've, I've
Speaker:said to people like me going on this
Speaker:journey, it saved my life because I I.
Speaker:I am scared to think of where my life
Speaker:would have been heading because I just
Speaker:wasn't looking after myself and I was
Speaker:wasn't happy.
Speaker:So, you know, I'm passionate about this
Speaker:and I'm, I'm not really sure the answer
Speaker:from a wide level,
Speaker:from a society level,
Speaker:you know, big picture of you. But for
Speaker:each person, it's just taking their own
Speaker:responsibility for what they can do to
Speaker:have the courage to make the changes they
Speaker:need to make to, to be OK, to
Speaker:say that maybe I, I need some help with
Speaker:this. I mean, all through our sporting
Speaker:careers, we get help, we get coaching,
Speaker:we get. Process. We have
Speaker:structure and then the
Speaker:rest of your life you think you don't
Speaker:need it. Of course you do.
Speaker:None of us have got it figured out, and
Speaker:anyone that tries to tell you they got to
Speaker:figure it out, they're just lying because
Speaker:it's a constant grapple.
Speaker:As I say to people all the time, when you
Speaker:get better.
Speaker:Things don't necessarily life doesn't get
Speaker:easy, it's just you get much better at
Speaker:dealing with the different challenges.
Speaker:So it's not about trying to get to the
Speaker:point where everything's going to be, you
Speaker:know, fine and you've cleared everything
Speaker:up. It's like, no, no, how do you get
Speaker:better? How do you continue to build
Speaker:skills, knowledge,
Speaker:support to make sure
Speaker:that you keep trying to improve again
Speaker:like you would in your sport? I was
Speaker:talking to my young fellow the other week
Speaker:and he was talking about his mental
Speaker:health and saying to him, mate, it's the
Speaker:same as your physical health. You've got
Speaker:to keep working on it. If you don't,
Speaker:you'll lose fitness, you'll lose mental
Speaker:fitness, you lose mental strength. And
Speaker:you'll have tough days. You've got to
Speaker:continue to work on it. Can't expect that
Speaker:everything just to work out. So you've
Speaker:got to continue to work on it. So that's,
Speaker:that's what I guess if I had that
Speaker:platform, I'd be ranting. It's like if
Speaker:every individual takes responsibility for
Speaker:that. Now also now it's hard. After my
Speaker:dad passed in 2005, it took me 6 years
Speaker:before I actually reached out to help for
Speaker:help. So I know what that's like, but I
Speaker:also know the the moments.
Speaker:That came in the weeks and months
Speaker:following going. Why did I take so long?I
Speaker:have clients say to me all the time, when
Speaker:you clear an old belief or an old pattern
Speaker:and they change and they just shake their
Speaker:head and I'm like, what's what's going
Speaker:on? They go, just why didn't I do this
Speaker:years ago? Because I now see a future
Speaker:that's completely different completely.
Speaker:More positive and more possibilities and
Speaker:more opportunities and they I think that
Speaker:I've wasted so much time not getting at
Speaker:this point. So don't waste that time.
Speaker:Don't get push yourself to the limit.
Speaker:Doesn't have to be that way too many men
Speaker:doing it. If you know men in your life
Speaker:that that you know need some support,
Speaker:they need encouragement or even a kick
Speaker:out the arse and be that person because
Speaker:it's well worth having them
Speaker:react badly to you than you having to
Speaker:react badly because of something that's
Speaker:happened after that. Remember having that
Speaker:conversation with a really good mate of
Speaker:mine when he he was on the phone to me
Speaker:and, and breaking down because he was
Speaker:just so stressed and it was all getting
Speaker:on top of him and I had to ask him that
Speaker:question. I had to ask him, are you
Speaker:thinking about suicide at the moment?
Speaker:That's something that is a question that
Speaker:that you need to ask if someone's
Speaker:thinking like that, because they do want
Speaker:to speak about it and they do want a safe
Speaker:place to do that. Too often
Speaker:we get too scared. They're worried about
Speaker:what they react so.
Speaker:What I would suggest is to
Speaker:get your mental health first aid or do
Speaker:some reading or find out enough
Speaker:information because these are important
Speaker:skills, important skills for you, but
Speaker:they're also important skills for the
Speaker:people in your world. So let's
Speaker:let's all make a commitment to get
Speaker:better, to be able to deal with these
Speaker:situations. Previous
Speaker:skills it's prove your knowledge, improve
Speaker:the support you have around you.
Speaker:And really pushed her to make this normal
Speaker:for men.
Speaker:You've taken the time to listen to this
Speaker:whole episode. Now it's time to take
Speaker:action. Commit to one thing you've
Speaker:learned today and make it happen. And to
Speaker:avoid any obstructions, join the Sporty's
Speaker:Life movement by clicking on the link in
Speaker:the show notes.
