#99 – Matt Elliott: Mastering Mindset, Emotional Care, and the Power of Self-Investment
If you want to get support directly from us to remove your repetitive self-doubt, join our FREE community: The Sport Is Life Movement - https://www.facebook.com/groups/sportislife
If you are ready to have more purpose in your life, join the Finding Your Purpose training here - https://www.facebook.com/groups/1520159328628207
Episode Summary:
In this episode of Sport Is Life, host Ian Hawkins sits down with former NRL head coach Matt Elliott to explore the crucial role of mindset, emotional care, and self-investment in achieving peak performance. Matt shares his journey from overcoming a major health crisis to founding The Change Room, a program focused on holistic healing and transformation. Together, they discuss practical strategies for building resilience, making conscious choices, and prioritising personal growth to unlock true potential in both sports and life.
About the Guest:
Matt Elliott
The Change Room Founder
Leadership & Culture Coach
Through Matt’s 20 + years experience as an NRL Head Coach, his relentless pursuit was to discover how to merge wellbeing with high performance for his team.
These techniques whilst refined in high-performance sports are applicable to ALL individuals and teams looking to be better… And it’s not just theory, in the early 2000’s Matt was diagnosed with a serious autoimmune disease that doctors said he’d be stuck with for the rest of his life. After a year of constant pain and suffering, he turned to cutting-edge techniques being used in sports that cured him of his disease.
Through this turnaround in his health and Matt’s fascination with the link between leadership, wellbeing, recovery and performance, began the foundations of The Change Room as it stands today.
Matt is so passionate about sharing practices that enable people to find a better way and is at his best across the following topics
- Leadership and communication strategies when the pressure is on
- Mental health and self-care processes to enable you and your team to flourish
- The role of emotions under stress and tools to improve decision making under pressure
- Improved ability to understand and control our mental and emotional states
- Creating a Leadership Mindset for your organisation
- Authentic leadership
Enquire Now: https://www.thechangeroom.info/mentor/matt-elliott/
The Change Room Website: https://www.thechangeroom.info/
About the Host:
Ian Hawkins, host of "Sport Is Life," is dedicated to showing how sports can transform lives. With extensive experience as an athlete, a coach, PE teacher, community volunteer, and manager at Fox Sports, Ian brings a wealth of knowledge to the podcast. His journey began in his backyard, mentored by his older brother, and has since evolved into coaching elite athletes and business leaders. Ian's commitment to sports and personal development is evident in his roles as a performance coach and active community member. Through "Sport Is Life," Ian shares inspiring stories and valuable lessons to help listeners apply sports principles to all areas of life.
If you’re working too hard too quieten the headnoise, check out my Performance Meditation training here - https://www.ianhawkinscoaching.com/performancemeditation
Join the 2025 Planning Session here https://www.facebook.com/share/1C6AqzhGeY/
Check Me Out On:
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ianhawkinscoaching
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ianhawkinscoaching
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@SportIsLife-IanHawkins
Theme Music Artist:
One Day Kings https://www.instagram.com/onedaykings/
See https://www.captivate.fm/privacy-policy-for-listeners for privacy information.
Transcript
thing I always, I always share is that
Speaker:look, it's easier to sit on the lounge
Speaker:than it is to exercise, right? Yeah,
Speaker:it's easier to go to Maccas than is to
Speaker:cook a really healthy home cooked meal.
Speaker:It's far easier to have the shits, to be
Speaker:a victim that is to be happy or inspired,
Speaker:you know what I mean? So.
Speaker:It's, I'm not saying it's difficult to be
Speaker:happy and inspired, but it's, it's not as
Speaker:easy as it is, to be fair, thinking this
Speaker:has been going 43 minutes and like, come
Speaker:on, you know, and you haven't talked
Speaker:footy yet. Yeah, you know what I mean?
Speaker:It's it's you've got to make a conscious
Speaker:choice of how you want to be
Speaker:andMost of you will know the name Matt
Speaker:El liott from his work as an NRL head
Speaker:coach. What you may not know is that
Speaker:about 1213 years ago, Matt went through a
Speaker:major health crisis that led him on a
Speaker:path of discovering new ways of
Speaker:healing himself and also the
Speaker:creation of the change room. So he's the
Speaker:founder, he's one of the coaches where
Speaker:he's sharing the knowledge of how you can
Speaker:improve your health and your performance.
Speaker:By looking at your well being from a
Speaker:completely different perspective. He has
Speaker:some great lessons today about self
Speaker:care, self exploration and there's also
Speaker:some great tips on high performance which
Speaker:are so obvious and yet so
Speaker:powerful.
Speaker:I'm Ian Hawkins and this is Sporty's
Speaker:life. The purpose of sport, as I
Speaker:see it, is to see your vision become a
Speaker:reality, find your voice, create
Speaker:strong connections and learn to trust
Speaker:your body.
Speaker:G'day, Matt. How you going? Yeah, I'm
Speaker:well. Thanks Ian. Looking forward to our
Speaker:chat, so should be a lot of
Speaker:fun. Yeah, me too. I've been looking
Speaker:forward to this one, especially given
Speaker:what you are doing now at the change
Speaker:room. I notice you've got the book behind
Speaker:you. I,
Speaker:I, I noted with interest when I was
Speaker:looking at your story, obviously a lot of
Speaker:listeners are going to know you from your
Speaker:work coaching at NRL. I
Speaker:actually came across you, I can't
Speaker:remember what was, it might have been. I
Speaker:spoke to one of your colleagues on
Speaker:LinkedIn. I can't remember what it was
Speaker:probably going back about 7-8 years ago
Speaker:and then starting to see your story of
Speaker:overcoming serious health
Speaker:issues and how you now
Speaker:combine well being and high
Speaker:performance. And to me, like this is an
Speaker:area that I know at the moment people are
Speaker:only really scratching the surface. And
Speaker:so I'm excited to dig into this and, and.
Speaker:More of your wisdom so people can
Speaker:start to to see more of what's possible
Speaker:when you really focus on your well being.
Speaker:So can you tell us a little bit about how
Speaker:that transition came, a little bit about
Speaker:the health set back and how you ended up
Speaker:doing what you're doing now? Well, the
Speaker:health set back actually
Speaker:2012 and still
Speaker:coaching. And I was in between head
Speaker:coaching at Penrith and the Warriors. I
Speaker:spent a year at the Roosters and
Speaker:I came across Anthony Minicello. So I've
Speaker:got a background in sports science and
Speaker:thought I knew a lot about nutrition,
Speaker:particularly sports nutrition.
Speaker:And I got an autoimmune disease,
Speaker:which I retrospectively learned that that
Speaker:was from lifestyle stuff.
Speaker:Then the doctor was right. The doctor
Speaker:said you've had this your whole life.
Speaker:Umm, yeah, something. Set it off. The
Speaker:drugs I give you will
Speaker:help you mow the lawn basically for the
Speaker:rest of your life.
Speaker:And Anthony, I didn't tell anyone
Speaker:because being of, you know, you can
Speaker:tell by my orbit, we don't really say too
Speaker:much about that sort of stuff. So I was,
Speaker:I thought I was suffering in silence. But
Speaker:Anthony Minicello recognised it was
Speaker:something not right with me and he
Speaker:introduced me to a way of eating which
Speaker:was developed by a dentist in the early
Speaker:1900s.
Speaker:Yeah, a guy called Western a price and
Speaker:his foundation still goes, which is kind
Speaker:of the origin of where all keto and
Speaker:paleo diets come from to be, to
Speaker:be honest with you. Really interesting
Speaker:story. A dentist travelled around the
Speaker:world at that
Speaker:time. He went
Speaker:everywhere, everywhere and he was really
Speaker:fascinated.
Speaker:The impacts of diet on dental hygiene.
Speaker:And if you think about it, if our if our
Speaker:dental hygiene is not great, it's
Speaker:probably an indication that our health's
Speaker:not great.
Speaker:Yeah, you only probably have to see a
Speaker:homeless person, right? They sort of have
Speaker:a little bit of an insight into that.
Speaker:Umm, but fascinatingly, you know, I was
Speaker:all into carb loading because I was in
Speaker:high performance and, and
Speaker:yeah, it was very interesting that within
Speaker:six weeks of following that way of
Speaker:eating, I was off all medication. And
Speaker:I've been injecting myself twice a day
Speaker:with a steroid, living on
Speaker:painkillers and
Speaker:sleeping tablets as well.
Speaker:Wasn't pleasant, Yeah. So I
Speaker:thought I'd cured myself.
Speaker:I found out last year after 12 years
Speaker:that. No, no, that's it is
Speaker:still there. The doctor was right. I
Speaker:can bring it back if I want to change my
Speaker:lifestyle. So that's kind of where
Speaker:the interest began. I obviously was still
Speaker:very engaged in rugby league then,
Speaker:but my health issues which I kept
Speaker:quiet ultimately sort of
Speaker:made me not as.
Speaker:As connected to all my players as I
Speaker:should have been at that time. So I take
Speaker:full responsibility with that. I probably
Speaker:should have addressed it now a little
Speaker:earlier. But again, finally, after
Speaker:coming out of coaching, I was very,
Speaker:you know, I, I understood that.
Speaker:A high performance approach is actually
Speaker:not, that's a, that's not a real word.
Speaker:It's a human performance approach because
Speaker:if it works for Anthony Minichello or it
Speaker:works for a gold medalist, it'll work for
Speaker:you too. And so I
Speaker:started a programme that you know, when
Speaker:we now have 5
Speaker:international best selling authors, 3 Ted
Speaker:talkers, 2 doctors that that.
Speaker:humandynamics. Anthony Milicello
Speaker:obviously was the first person I went to
Speaker:who's now a nutrition coach and it's
Speaker:starting to come out. I saw Cameron
Speaker:Munster come out and actually acknowledge
Speaker:him as well and unfortunately Minnie's
Speaker:way too humble. The amount of we've had
Speaker:people, we've had over 3000 people come
Speaker:through our programme. Yeah, and
Speaker:you know, we had a lady, she broke the
Speaker:record end of last year, she lost 100
Speaker:kilosfollowing minutes.
Speaker:Yep. And she'll lose more because she's
Speaker:getting low skin cut off. But
Speaker:equally in the same way of eating, the
Speaker:same way that cured me. We've had
Speaker:emaciated people come through our
Speaker:programme, you know, because of
Speaker:overuse of. Medications and illicit
Speaker:drugs and put weight on eating exactly
Speaker:the same way yeah wow,
Speaker:what I love about.
Speaker:Just said we've just again Australia's
Speaker:leading breathing coach. I met through
Speaker:Mick Fanning a guy called Nam Baldwin as
Speaker:well, you know coach Jess
Speaker:Fox and assisted Jess at 2
Speaker:Olympics. Know and you know, obviously
Speaker:Mick won a couple of World
Speaker:Championships and, you know, a couple of
Speaker:other world and he's been at the Roosters
Speaker:and and the Blues and Richmond as well
Speaker:when they won title. So we've got pretty
Speaker:high level people. I've the reason I
Speaker:share that with you is that this is not
Speaker:all my knowledge. I've been so fortunate
Speaker:over the last decade to be able to tap
Speaker:into you know what.
Speaker:Is cutting edge or was cutting edge now
Speaker:leading edge stuff, but it's all
Speaker:scientifically validated as well. I
Speaker:love that I talk a lot about
Speaker:on this podcast as well as obviously, you
Speaker:know, the the leadership and performance
Speaker:stuff, but also how if you
Speaker:put your body in the right state that it
Speaker:does have that capacity to heal itself.
Speaker:And that's my memory for many was
Speaker:he was just having repetitive injuries
Speaker:and then. He started treating
Speaker:his body in a completely different way
Speaker:and a lot of those injuries started
Speaker:to improve. And that's obviously the
Speaker:basic version. I'm sure there was a heap
Speaker:of strengthening and rehab and all those
Speaker:bits and pieces, but I do remember him
Speaker:talking about that the the diet and the
Speaker:lifestyle elements that changed were were
Speaker:a massive element.
Speaker:So.
Speaker:Oh, I forgot where I was gonna head then.
Speaker:But they if you look at what is
Speaker:happening or what was happening when you
Speaker:were NRL coach and, and from my
Speaker:brief interactions still happening now is
Speaker:that they're, they're still in that
Speaker:environment. There's not a hape of clubs
Speaker:who are doing it at the depth that you
Speaker:guys are now. Is that about fair?
Speaker:You know what there that has been very
Speaker:progressive and if you have a look at the
Speaker:performances across the ARL, you
Speaker:might have a bit of an insight into what
Speaker:clubs are doing at best. And it's
Speaker:look, most of it this most, you
Speaker:know, most new science is actually
Speaker:old practises. You know
Speaker:that. And I don't want to sound cynical,
Speaker:but I want to deal with the truth here
Speaker:is, is that like there's a lot of stuff.
Speaker:In medicine and doctors don't do
Speaker:nutrition. Yeah, most boxes, I should
Speaker:say, they don't do exercise. If I'm
Speaker:getting, if I got a broken leg, I know
Speaker:where I'm going. You know, but
Speaker:what you get in, in sports environments,
Speaker:the doctor will sit with the physio and
Speaker:the head of performance and the
Speaker:nutritionist. So there's a holistic and
Speaker:integrated approach to recovery
Speaker:or not just recovery by the way,
Speaker:performance. And that's where I've
Speaker:witnessed things that really work.
Speaker:What we see in normal communities.
Speaker:And you know, it's been a battle for the
Speaker:last 10 years in my business in
Speaker:particular is, is that.
Speaker:Doctors don't really listen to
Speaker:other approaches and most
Speaker:doctors, I should say, and equally, you
Speaker:know, it's the other approaches go
Speaker:medicines rubbish. This doesn't work and
Speaker:we know and it's it only treats the
Speaker:symptoms. You got to do this. You know, I
Speaker:kind of sit right in the middle of that.
Speaker:Obviously we need scientifically
Speaker:validated medicine. All right. And if we
Speaker:look at some of the introduction of how
Speaker:we're reading and, and some of the, you
Speaker:know, the practises in themedical side
Speaker:of things, they have a short term impact.
Speaker:You know, to, and I, I, I learnt that if
Speaker:I didn't have pharmaceuticals, I, I would
Speaker:have been a really bad place when I was
Speaker:ill. It just gave me the space to sort
Speaker:things out. But it wasn't the cure to
Speaker:what I, I wanted. So it
Speaker:just gets a little frustrating when you,
Speaker:you know, the knowledge is there to make
Speaker:so many people in our country and on this
Speaker:planet make them. Well, it's
Speaker:there. It's not as though people don't
Speaker:know. They just don't work together and
Speaker:it's it's really disappointing.
Speaker:Yeah, I think that's where it comes down
Speaker:to a lot of the information that that
Speaker:comes out. Even just at the moment, I
Speaker:noticed people talking about a story
Speaker:where a woman was she faked having
Speaker:cancer and talked about these.
Speaker:Natural healing remedies and and so.
Speaker:Turned out she was fraudulent and used a
Speaker:whole lot of money that apparently she
Speaker:was donating for personal use. But to me
Speaker:that story takes people away from
Speaker:what you know, they sort of group all
Speaker:that. Well being stuff into the
Speaker:same group and then dismiss all of it
Speaker:because of stories like that so.
Speaker:That's why I was looking forward to this
Speaker:conversation, because the more
Speaker:conversations we can have, particularly
Speaker:as you said, from a scientific
Speaker:background, the more
Speaker:understanding people will have so.
Speaker:How do you?Feel
Speaker:like you are nudging the dial in terms of
Speaker:getting in front of more people to share
Speaker:this message. That's a great
Speaker:question. It's a really good question.
Speaker:And yeah, you've got to like the word
Speaker:medicine. We've got to be careful. Like
Speaker:we always, we start off as being a well
Speaker:being business. You know, we want, we
Speaker:want people to be well and we want
Speaker:but well being, you know, for some
Speaker:companies, for example, or organisations
Speaker:is putting fruit on the table at
Speaker:lunchtime. Regardless of where
Speaker:that fruit came from. Umm,
Speaker:so it's a, it's a tough
Speaker:word to deal with and particularly when
Speaker:you hear people misuse it as well. So,
Speaker:you know, there's a whole lot of
Speaker:different, you know, phrases that go with
Speaker:that. But the truth is,
Speaker:the truth is, is that these are lifestyle
Speaker:things that is accessible to
Speaker:us all. And more than ever, OK,
Speaker:more than ever, we have the opportunity
Speaker:to get ill. By choices of
Speaker:what we eat and how we sit
Speaker:down all day and all that sort but
Speaker:more than ever. In the history
Speaker:of humankind, we have the opportunity to
Speaker:live longer and healthier.
Speaker:You know, so that we knowingly
Speaker:provide our communities with food that we
Speaker:know is not good for them. Yeah, it's not
Speaker:like really that's not.
Speaker:And that some of it is because they say
Speaker:it's organic and they say it's this and
Speaker:they don't tell you what how the food's
Speaker:been, you know, produced.
Speaker:And so both of those that that
Speaker:understands all there, the knowledge is
Speaker:there, we just need to share it with
Speaker:our communities and people in a way that
Speaker:is absorbable and makes sense.
Speaker:Yeah. How much do you think?
Speaker:Convenience and speed 'cause you're
Speaker:right, everyone knows we how many people
Speaker:have said, oh, well, it's probably no
Speaker:coincidence. We've had an increase in
Speaker:things like cancer and other mental
Speaker:health challenges, probably coincides
Speaker:with the increase in processed food. And
Speaker:yet people still go down that path
Speaker:and rather than spending some time
Speaker:cooking, they'll go for that quick fix.
Speaker:Or do you think there's a big element of
Speaker:that because people just tend to be like
Speaker:the everyday person tends to be busier
Speaker:than they've ever been. Yeah, we tend to
Speaker:choose convenience over health a lot of
Speaker:the time. And you know, and
Speaker:look, it's all about balance. I'm not
Speaker:saying there's people got to have
Speaker:fun in life and sometimes fun,
Speaker:you know, isn't eating the right thing.
Speaker:Yeah. And but I
Speaker:also think that. Like
Speaker:as I said, people know this and some of
Speaker:the stuff that we can actually eat, it
Speaker:doesn't. How does it make sense that
Speaker:something that's ultra processed is
Speaker:cheaper than something that's organic? I
Speaker:don't understand that. How can
Speaker:that be? And, and people
Speaker:have to jump through a whole lot of hoops
Speaker:to prove that their food is organic,
Speaker:whereas the people spraying shit on it
Speaker:and doing whatever else with food don't
Speaker:have to do any of that. Like that means
Speaker:that's reverse. Yeah. And, you know, and
Speaker:there's all this stuff about, you know,
Speaker:being super cynical and conspiracy
Speaker:theories. We've got to get past that.
Speaker:Let's just tell the truth. We have a
Speaker:look at the health of our
Speaker:nation in the last 20 years as opposed to
Speaker:what it was like, you know, in the
Speaker:80s And and it's.
Speaker:And it's not, it's not as though we've
Speaker:become poorer as a nation. What we've
Speaker:done is we've given our people access to
Speaker:stuff that's not healthy. And
Speaker:if you wanted to be super cynical,
Speaker:there's a lot of money in people being
Speaker:unwell. Absolutely. I
Speaker:don't like saying that because I know
Speaker:some people have resistance to it. And
Speaker:I'm not saying that, you know, I'm not
Speaker:having a shot of any medical paternities
Speaker:or whatever. What I'm saying is that.
Speaker:To address this, you know, I look at
Speaker:what's going on in America, for example,
Speaker:and yeah, when they you've got, was it
Speaker:72% of their population is obese.
Speaker:Yeah. And I'm seeing it happen here.
Speaker:My eyes work. And
Speaker:and, you know, we've got to give people
Speaker:different choices around because as I
Speaker:said, we know how to keep people healthy.
Speaker:Yeah, more than ever we know. So let's do
Speaker:that because healthy people are much
Speaker:better. Our communities will be a better
Speaker:place if people are healthier, and I can
Speaker:tell you that if we give them healthier
Speaker:food, that thing that we've called mental
Speaker:health, which is really about how people
Speaker:feel, you know, is
Speaker:would be reduced massively.
Speaker:Absolutely. My young
Speaker:fellow just finished his HSC.
Speaker:Mentally taxing time because
Speaker:he's put a lot of expectation on himself,
Speaker:more than his parents did. But he had gut
Speaker:health issues by the end of it, and
Speaker:that was impacting his mental health. And
Speaker:a lot of it was, yeah. What he was
Speaker:eating. We
Speaker:guess a naturopath gets put on the right
Speaker:track and suddenly everything's improved.
Speaker:His physical health, his mental health,
Speaker:his, his energy, all of those
Speaker:different things like it's, it's.
Speaker:What you said, it's people just need to
Speaker:know like it's not an argument about it.
Speaker:You mentioned there about the 80s, like
Speaker:every now and then you see people post
Speaker:photos of the beach in Australia in the
Speaker:70s and 80s and it's
Speaker:people looking extremely healthy and you
Speaker:can't spot one overweight person in those
Speaker:photos. So like you said.
Speaker:We must be doing something wrong as a
Speaker:society if that's where we've gone from
Speaker:and to. And that's a visual thing,
Speaker:but have a look at like
Speaker:autism, ADHD, have a look at all these
Speaker:behavioural things. Where is that coming
Speaker:from? Look, we separate everything out
Speaker:right? And we can say, look, we know that
Speaker:the gut buying. Impacts
Speaker:our emotional state, impacts our
Speaker:behaviour. We know that exercise does it
Speaker:as well, so we separate that out as well.
Speaker:We know that our emotional state how we
Speaker:think and feel.
Speaker:If you combine it all and you actually
Speaker:integrate common sense into this.
Speaker:Yeah. And go, like I saw it, it
Speaker:was a while ago, Like if we've got a
Speaker:health food section in our
Speaker:supermarkets, what does that mean
Speaker:about the rest of the Superman, Exactly.
Speaker:Yeah. So I wish that
Speaker:was my, my, you know, phrase. But the
Speaker:point being is we know and I, you know,
Speaker:and it's not a separate thing. It's not
Speaker:about your gut health and it's not just
Speaker:about exercise and it's not just
Speaker:about what you consume in social media
Speaker:and what you watch on TV. It's a
Speaker:combination of things. And
Speaker:if you sat, I reckon if you sat with
Speaker:95% of people. And
Speaker:went, look, if you know all this, what's
Speaker:the answer? They they'd know the answer.
Speaker:We've, what we've got to do is we've just
Speaker:got to reduce the accessibility
Speaker:to the shit food that we have. And
Speaker:you know what, kids?
Speaker:Like sitting in classrooms all day. Yeah,
Speaker:yeah. And then they come home and they
Speaker:sit at home looking at their phone. I'm
Speaker:not being judgmental now. I'm a 60 year
Speaker:old dude and I look at my phone all the
Speaker:time as well. So I'm not having a shot at
Speaker:kids here. I'm just saying this is that
Speaker:we need to start to go. And I'm not.
Speaker:I'm not one of those people that go back
Speaker:in my day. And let me tell you,
Speaker:mate, let me. But surely we should be
Speaker:making kids active at school, Surely we
Speaker:should be giving them access to really
Speaker:good, high quality food at school.
Speaker:Yeah, on a regular basis, rather
Speaker:than being scared of the, you know, the
Speaker:legislation around what they might injure
Speaker:themselves. Yeah,
Speaker:so. I do work in schools in a
Speaker:number of different capacities and I
Speaker:still do casual teaching as a trained PE
Speaker:teacher and it still amazes me what
Speaker:it still amazes me what happens in
Speaker:canteens. It's still, it's there's a few
Speaker:healthy options, but most of those
Speaker:healthy options are still more of those
Speaker:processed foods that we talk about.
Speaker:Yeah, it's on one hand lots changes,
Speaker:but on the other hand there's lots
Speaker:staying exactly the same. And I think you
Speaker:don't have to be from a place of
Speaker:judgement. I I look at your journey if
Speaker:it, if you were saying that from a place
Speaker:of having not gone on a journey that
Speaker:you've gone on like, you know, back in my
Speaker:day, well, that's different. But anyone
Speaker:who's been through their own massive set
Speaker:back and had to overcome that and then
Speaker:come out the other side, were you coming
Speaker:from a place of authority because. You
Speaker:know, you know you've you've, you've know
Speaker:what the.
Speaker:Well, devastation might be over the top,
Speaker:but you know, the impact if, if you go
Speaker:down that path and you suddenly have a
Speaker:huge health set back, it's,
Speaker:it's massive. And coming out the other
Speaker:side, you, you know, from a place of
Speaker:passion and purpose what, what the
Speaker:alternative can be, right? And the truth
Speaker:is, is that it was preventable.
Speaker:The condition that I had, and the truth
Speaker:is, is like as I said, it's all attached.
Speaker:So when I got ill, I withdrew
Speaker:emotionally. And I'm in a job where I
Speaker:have to connect to people on a daily
Speaker:basis. So guess what happened? I lost my
Speaker:job. Now I had a relationship breakdown
Speaker:with someone that really meant a lot to
Speaker:me. I'm so lucky. My daughter's hung in
Speaker:there with me, and they knew that I
Speaker:wasn't right, wasn't telling them, wasn't
Speaker:right. They just had to put up with this
Speaker:person, you know, slowly withdraw it. I
Speaker:didn't work less. I worked harder. Yeah,
Speaker:I still had the same commitment to the
Speaker:job that I had. But I just, you know,
Speaker:your job when you're coaching, for
Speaker:example, is you got to connect to
Speaker:people. So, you know,
Speaker:disconnecting from them and trying to do
Speaker:all these other things is, is is
Speaker:dysfunctional. And I guess when you've
Speaker:been dysfunctional, you recognise it
Speaker:in other people really quickly
Speaker:and. And and you know, there's the old
Speaker:saying, there's two ways of learning
Speaker:through suffering or awareness.
Speaker:Son, don't put your hand on the hot
Speaker:plate, right? Yeah, well, I I really
Speaker:like people to. Yeah, I
Speaker:learned through the awareness side of
Speaker:peace. The majority of time we're all
Speaker:going to suffer at some stage. But,
Speaker:and you know, I'll keep repeating myself
Speaker:here, but the the
Speaker:understanding and the knowledge and the
Speaker:wisdom is here
Speaker:to help people do that now,
Speaker:right now, and particularly our kids.
Speaker:Absolutely like that ADHD and
Speaker:autism thing. It's not
Speaker:something that's not avoidable.
Speaker:Yeah, and. Might come back to that
Speaker:because that's, that's something I want
Speaker:to talk about. But there's so many
Speaker:writing, so many different things here.
Speaker:My journey was very much around the
Speaker:emotional impact on my body. So I want to
Speaker:go there in a second. But I've just
Speaker:noticed you've got the Wayne dye out.
Speaker:You've got to cut the Wayne books behind
Speaker:you. Yeah,
Speaker:yeah. Wayne Dyer. So he he talked a lot
Speaker:about. Nutrition, but also the
Speaker:emotional side.
Speaker:How much of that, because I notice that's
Speaker:a lot what you talk about is having that
Speaker:ability to deal with emotions under
Speaker:stress, but also like how much of
Speaker:your research of you and your teams is,
Speaker:do you see emotions coming into the
Speaker:impact on people's well being as well?
Speaker:That's my key area of, of presenting.
Speaker:So we've got nutrition, we've got
Speaker:breathing, we've got sleep. But my, my
Speaker:key area is in the emotional side of
Speaker:things, which. Yeah, which I
Speaker:think is when we say mental health,
Speaker:people don't think they can have
Speaker:stressful thoughts, but they, they feel
Speaker:stressed, right? It's a feeling.
Speaker:So and my
Speaker:simple analogy around emotions is, is
Speaker:that I, because people understand the
Speaker:physical, right. I had to go and learn
Speaker:about emotions because I, you know,
Speaker:you can tell it by my hair colour that
Speaker:when I grew up. It was, you know,
Speaker:suck it up and have a cup of concrete.
Speaker:Sign of weakness. That was the dumbest
Speaker:thing ever to be taught. You know, I use
Speaker:like I always ask people, if
Speaker:you've got a rock in your shoe, what do
Speaker:you do?Take your shoe off, get it out
Speaker:because your body gives you a physical
Speaker:signal like discomfort. Make
Speaker:your shoe off, take the rock out. If you
Speaker:ignore it, it goes well. Discomfort
Speaker:didn't work. Let's try pain. Or are
Speaker:you going to keep going? Well, agony.
Speaker:Agony will get his attention, right?
Speaker:Exactly the same emotions.
Speaker:Are you not meant to feel bad?So
Speaker:if we pay attention to why they're
Speaker:waiting till it's sucking up, have a cup
Speaker:of concrete. Guilty. Again, remember,
Speaker:suffering
Speaker:is if, if you pay
Speaker:attention to frustration and you go, why
Speaker:am I frustrated? That's the rock in the
Speaker:shoe, right? I'm frustrated because,
Speaker:Oh my, you know, my reception's not that
Speaker:good. And you know, it's getting a little
Speaker:bit blurry occasionally, you know, and
Speaker:then you get, well, what do I need to do?
Speaker:People don't do that. So emotions
Speaker:are emotions are a powerful thing in that
Speaker:respect. But also like the
Speaker:biggest cause of death and disease. I'm
Speaker:sorry to give you bad news. On the
Speaker:planet is how people feel biggest cause
Speaker:of heart disease because of
Speaker:cancer because cause of autoimmune
Speaker:is what we call stress, which is that
Speaker:feeling, you know, so
Speaker:perceived threat.
Speaker:So imagine threat is called
Speaker:anxiety, remembered threat is called
Speaker:depression. They're not mad Elliot's
Speaker:words. They're they're medical terms,
Speaker:right? And they're the biggest cause of,
Speaker:you know, of the bad stuff on the planet.
Speaker:And all it is is a signal to
Speaker:us to pay attention to how we feel. And
Speaker:add to that, you know, we're the best
Speaker:hunter gatherer on the planet, right?
Speaker:We're not the strongest or the fastest.
Speaker:We never used to go flying out of caves
Speaker:at 100 milean hour, so our brains are
Speaker:wide 3.1 toone to
Speaker:see threat
Speaker:overjoyed. Like, it's like when you cross
Speaker:the road right across the road to
Speaker:see the loved 1:00 on the other side. You
Speaker:look left and right. It's a good thing.
Speaker:Yeah, you're aware of it.
Speaker:But people aren't aware of it. We're not
Speaker:taught about emotions. We're not taught
Speaker:about how we're wired. So
Speaker:people spend their whole life living in
Speaker:threat. That's not real, but it
Speaker:has the real impacts.
Speaker:So I'll finish the tick I know you want
Speaker:to get. I always love this and I take too
Speaker:long to ask the question. So with how you
Speaker:feel, is the biggest cause of the bad
Speaker:stuff, What's the biggest cause of the
Speaker:good stuff?Of being well, what is it?
Speaker:Also how you feel, how you feel,
Speaker:yes and, and what's what's
Speaker:really focused on then was a lot of the
Speaker:reason why a lot of people don't focus on
Speaker:how they feel, particularly men.
Speaker:It's because of that language they heard
Speaker:growing up, which is the cup of concrete
Speaker:or even as simple as we got told how to
Speaker:feel, don't be angry, don't be upset.
Speaker:Why, you know, like all of those messages
Speaker:that we just got programmed into us to
Speaker:suppress emotions and. We watched our
Speaker:fathers not go and get attention when
Speaker:they probably did, when we probably
Speaker:instinctively knew they needed to as
Speaker:well. So there's pattern creatures of
Speaker:pattern. We repeat the pattern so.
Speaker:From what you've said there, it's, it's
Speaker:that tolerance level the, the rock in the
Speaker:shoe. I I use the analogy that the
Speaker:feather brick in the truck, you'll,
Speaker:you'll get a, a tickle to pay attention.
Speaker:And if you don't pay attention to that,
Speaker:it's a brick. And, and if you don't pay
Speaker:attention to that woman, that's when
Speaker:you'll get the truck, which is the
Speaker:autoimmune disease. Or for me, one
Speaker:of the trucks was my dad's passing where
Speaker:I suddenly realised all those emotions
Speaker:I've been suppressing all my life needed
Speaker:a home. And yeah, that can cause.
Speaker:Serious challenges
Speaker:from a physical, mental and emotional
Speaker:health perspective. Yeah. And and
Speaker:that they're only there because you care.
Speaker:If you didn't care, you wouldn't have the
Speaker:right. So hearing's not bad. It's how we
Speaker:use that care. And it's about asking you
Speaker:like once you develop the awareness, what
Speaker:do I feel this way?Like, it's not a,
Speaker:it's not about you have to, you know,
Speaker:it's OK to, you know, burst into tears.
Speaker:It is OK to burst into tears at the right
Speaker:time. And sometimes there's a wrong time
Speaker:for it. But if you cut it off early,
Speaker:what? Why am I feeling this way? I'm
Speaker:telling you, if you ask yourself that
Speaker:question, always tell people, how often
Speaker:do you ask? Yeah, I see you. I go get her
Speaker:in. How you going, mate? How often do you
Speaker:ask yourself that question?Are you worth
Speaker:2 minutes a day to ask yourself that
Speaker:question? Because. Again, because
Speaker:I've worked with thousands and thousands
Speaker:of people in this area, right? There's
Speaker:predominantly what I do now.
Speaker:It's closer to 20,000 people now.
Speaker:Is that I'm telling you 95% of the
Speaker:time or, and this isn't that's, this is
Speaker:not science, but in my experience
Speaker:is that people have the answer. Why do
Speaker:you feel that way? Well, because and they
Speaker:give you the answer and go, what are you
Speaker:going to do about it?How
Speaker:often you ask that question to yourself?
Speaker:So we're experts in the places we go, the
Speaker:things we do, the cars we own,
Speaker:you know everything. But we're not an
Speaker:expert in ourself because we don't take
Speaker:the time 2 minutes a day. To
Speaker:ask yourself how am I going 'cause you
Speaker:know what I tried lying to myself and it
Speaker:doesn't work You just guys come on mate
Speaker:for hiring and and that and
Speaker:that knowing nags at you again and again
Speaker:and again. It's funny you mentioned there
Speaker:about often we know when when I
Speaker:introduced the concept of different
Speaker:events from people's lives causing the
Speaker:illness or the injury or the. Reoccurring
Speaker:pain that they're having, they usually
Speaker:can go straight to it. Oh yeah, it
Speaker:started when this happened. They still
Speaker:want to go back and treat not the cause,
Speaker:but the symptoms. And again, mostly
Speaker:because similar to what you said at the
Speaker:start, I just don't know. I don't know
Speaker:any better. And so they just go and
Speaker:repeat the same thing. And as
Speaker:when people aren't having those
Speaker:conversations with themselves and their
Speaker:mental and emotional health declines.
Speaker:What I find generally happens is that
Speaker:their level of tolerance is so high.
Speaker:And they're all they're looking to do is
Speaker:stay above the line. They're not looking
Speaker:to improve, which is why the
Speaker:premise of this podcast is, but that's
Speaker:different in sport. I don't know if
Speaker:you've read Paul and Tammy Ruiz book and,
Speaker:and at the start of the book, they talk
Speaker:about like living like an athlete. They,
Speaker:they, they, umm, it's a snippet from
Speaker:another book. And you know, like
Speaker:athletes, we, we walk tall. We're always
Speaker:looking to improve ourselves. We're
Speaker:having those conversations with ourselves
Speaker:and our coach and all those different
Speaker:things. Like, why aren't we doing
Speaker:that? So. Given what you know from
Speaker:extensive work in
Speaker:coaching at the highest level, and I'm
Speaker:sure also you've got children and you've
Speaker:probably done a bit of that sort of work
Speaker:with with them at A at a community level
Speaker:as well. What's the key message for for
Speaker:the people listening to this? And again,
Speaker:a lot of them are going to be those
Speaker:stubborn men that we talked about before
Speaker:to help them to be able to start looking
Speaker:at things differently through that lens
Speaker:of that sports mentality to start taking
Speaker:it upon themselves to find that
Speaker:improvement. Become an expert in
Speaker:yourself. I love it.
Speaker:Just give yourself and it doesn't take.
Speaker:You don't have to like to go to the gym
Speaker:or whatever. It's an an hour session, you
Speaker:know, every day or whatever. This is not
Speaker:an hour session every day. This is 2 to 5
Speaker:minutes. Yeah. And you've got most of
Speaker:the answers, you know, I promise you. And
Speaker:then the answers you don't have, you
Speaker:know, I've got mentors and people I trust
Speaker:in my life. I go and ask them, well, what
Speaker:do you recognise should do here?Yeah, and
Speaker:we can really complicate that, couldn't
Speaker:we? And I, you know, I could do a whole
Speaker:lot of things that. Yeah, yeah. Look, I
Speaker:still my allies closed every morning and
Speaker:every night, you know, just. Yeah.
Speaker:Because it's, I understand what
Speaker:recovery does. You know, when you close
Speaker:your eyes, it blocks out a lot of
Speaker:stimulation, right? So, you know, you can
Speaker:call it, you know, mindfulness
Speaker:meditation, breathing or whatever you
Speaker:want to call it, right. But all I do is,
Speaker:you know, I do all that sort of stuff,
Speaker:but it's not anywhere. Important as far
Speaker:as I'm concerned as to becoming look at
Speaker:myself and go, alright, how you going
Speaker:mate? Going good. Why? I had a
Speaker:really great chat today on
Speaker:podcast. We discussed things that really
Speaker:interest me and just reminded me of a few
Speaker:things I need to get back into. How you
Speaker:going today, Matt? And I'm going shit,
Speaker:why you know, and yet most of the
Speaker:time you'll have the answer. So you take
Speaker:the rock out of your shoe. And I know
Speaker:that sounds super simple. And that
Speaker:makes and of course it's super simple.
Speaker:You know, it's like saying I'll get up
Speaker:and, you know, have a walk every 10
Speaker:minutes, every hour if you're sitting in
Speaker:front of your computer. Yeah, people go,
Speaker:oh, yeah, yeah. But they don't do it. No,
Speaker:because it's too simple. I need something
Speaker:complicated. I just feel like if
Speaker:that around that, it's not the whole
Speaker:answer. But if you
Speaker:if you just become more self aware.
Speaker:Is there really any need for me to be
Speaker:anxious about this? You know, I'm sitting
Speaker:here, I'm talking on a podcast. Do I
Speaker:really need to be anxious about it?
Speaker:Actually, no. Yeah. Yeah. Well, what
Speaker:could I do? Well, I could just sit here
Speaker:and, you know, regardless of how it comes
Speaker:across, just express how I feel and what
Speaker:I'm thinking. You know what I mean? So
Speaker:yeah. Yeah. It's instead of getting up
Speaker:high because the accumulative effect.
Speaker:See all those things like being anxious
Speaker:isn't a bad thing, you know,
Speaker:because. Yeah, you
Speaker:know, being angry isn't bad.
Speaker:Yeah, because sometimes you need to be
Speaker:right, you know, being scared isn't bad.
Speaker:These aren't None of them are bad things.
Speaker:But if you.
Speaker:Most of the time when you actually start
Speaker:like crackers, someone at the door,
Speaker:what's that, you know, having anxiety
Speaker:around that, that doesn't last a long
Speaker:time. You know, all
Speaker:these, we're not designed to be in this
Speaker:state of threat for
Speaker:hours, days, months. So that's where the
Speaker:chronic impact of how we feel comes into
Speaker:place because you know, the, the
Speaker:cortisol, you know, the adrenaline, the
Speaker:noradrenaline, the accumulative effect of
Speaker:it impacts us all differently because we
Speaker:all have different genetic makeups now.
Speaker:For you, it might be autoimmune. For me,
Speaker:it might be heart, you know, for other
Speaker:people could be cancer, you don't know.
Speaker:Now it could be a whole lot of things,
Speaker:skin conditions, everything.
Speaker:But it's, yeah, it's,
Speaker:and I really believe that look.
Speaker:I've had the opportunity to, you know,
Speaker:talk to a lot of people my age around
Speaker:this. I've had a lot of opportunity to do
Speaker:it, you know, with people that are
Speaker:business leaders and, and
Speaker:adults. It's really, yeah.
Speaker:And we've had some amazing results.
Speaker:But if we were taught this as kids.
Speaker:Yeah, I don't need to TE teach
Speaker:you math.
Speaker:I don't need to teach most people how to
Speaker:spell. Well, you don't need to anyway
Speaker:anyway, just just pick this up and done
Speaker:it for you. But I'm just saying, is it
Speaker:that?It's just our
Speaker:lack of awareness in this side of
Speaker:things that and it's like you said,
Speaker:your subconscious conditioning is from
Speaker:your dad and what what you got
Speaker:taught, you know, and how mine was
Speaker:the same, you know?
Speaker:He's not. My dad was the best dude in the
Speaker:world ever. But yeah, I never raised his
Speaker:voice but.
Speaker:Expressing your emotions
Speaker:or saying that you're feeling sad or
Speaker:something wasn't something that you did.
Speaker:How to do it and
Speaker:how? Not just that that it's OK,
Speaker:but how do you what? What are tools that
Speaker:you you can manage this with?
Speaker:Yeah. And, and I think that the big thing
Speaker:is rather than just keeping them at
Speaker:that line, it's like, how do we keep
Speaker:raising the line for them? How do we
Speaker:teach them those really simple high
Speaker:performance strategies to help them to
Speaker:grow more to, to then
Speaker:do what you're doing, which is then pay
Speaker:that forward. I I tell my kids all the
Speaker:time they're like the best billboards for
Speaker:me because of how they carry themselves.
Speaker:Not because I was an amazing parent, not
Speaker:at all. I made a heap of mistakes.
Speaker:It's more that they've watched me change
Speaker:and they've seen the things that I've
Speaker:changed by paying attention, having that
Speaker:self awareness, like you said, and, and
Speaker:taking the time to actually do a bit of
Speaker:stuff for myself and.
Speaker:Sometimes people listen to this, you
Speaker:know, you've thrown a fair bit at them.
Speaker:Sometimes that can seem quite daunting.
Speaker:But like you said, it comes back to a
Speaker:couple of minutes. A you've mentioned
Speaker:closing your eyes, and I love how you
Speaker:describe that because sometimes
Speaker:meditation can seem a bit.
Speaker:A lot for people to deal with and they
Speaker:might think that that's too hard and all
Speaker:this, but yeah, just shutting your eyes
Speaker:and, and just being with
Speaker:yourself. But what other strategies can
Speaker:they use? Like I'm, I'm big on
Speaker:journaling. That's something I learned
Speaker:from one of those initial mentors for me,
Speaker:Jim Rohn and, and guys like Robin Sharma.
Speaker:And I just know how powerful that process
Speaker:is for those two or three minutes a day.
Speaker:Is there is there any other strategies
Speaker:that you can pass on to the listeners?
Speaker:On how they can have a bit of structure
Speaker:to that self awareness time. Yeah,
Speaker:definitely journaling is, you know,
Speaker:if I showed you how many journals I've
Speaker:got you, it's quite,
Speaker:quite interesting journaling because it's
Speaker:not, I never revisit anything that
Speaker:I well, I have done recently just because
Speaker:I'm writing another book.
Speaker:After one that's just about to come out,
Speaker:but. Look,
Speaker:you've got to find your way, Yeah.
Speaker:Whether it's it's having those
Speaker:conversations with people that you trust.
Speaker:Whether it's actually writing stuff down,
Speaker:whether it's, you know.
Speaker:What journaling for a young person might
Speaker:be. Yeah, well, that's what what you did
Speaker:in 1000 yearsago, but we're not into
Speaker:that now. We do it this way. You've got
Speaker:to find your way of how you actually
Speaker:record how you feel, what you're
Speaker:thinking and what you want in life.
Speaker:And when I talk I'm a bit over goal
Speaker:setting. It's
Speaker:we're human beings, so it's how, how do
Speaker:you want to be?How do you
Speaker:actually want to be? And this is what I
Speaker:got terribly wrong. You
Speaker:know, I was more about this is what I
Speaker:want to achieve. And when I achieve this,
Speaker:I'll feel good. No, no, you know, I, I, I
Speaker:always use Mick Fanning as an example,
Speaker:right? I got to work with Mick, you know,
Speaker:as a consultant for a long time. You
Speaker:know, a lot of this. He was a world
Speaker:champion before he was a world champion.
Speaker:OK, so I I use this
Speaker:analogy in recent times is that you know
Speaker:there's a. Yeah,
Speaker:electricity can make heat, you understand
Speaker:that? And heat can make
Speaker:electricity, right? Yeah.
Speaker:So an event can cause a
Speaker:feeling. You score a try. Yeah,
Speaker:you win a lot. Yeah, but a feeling can
Speaker:also cause an event. Now I have to tell
Speaker:people the bad news, like feeling bad for
Speaker:a long time, causes that bad stuff that
Speaker:we talked about before. Yeah, feeling
Speaker:good for a long time. There's other
Speaker:outcomes that will come with that as
Speaker:well, you know, So
Speaker:it's how you're being. It's not waiting
Speaker:for something to happen to feel good.
Speaker:It's actually conditioning yourself. How
Speaker:do you want to feel? Will start now,
Speaker:start feeling that way now. And the
Speaker:other, you know, people call it the laws
Speaker:of attraction or the laws of them.
Speaker:No for me in high performance. I've
Speaker:very rarely seen anyone. When
Speaker:Mick won the world taller, he was like,
Speaker:oh goodness, how you know? It wasn't like
Speaker:when he was going to happen,
Speaker:You know, I was, you know, very few
Speaker:athletes I've seen are surprised.
Speaker:Amazing because they felt that way prior
Speaker:to doing it. And we've all had that. You
Speaker:know, when, whether it be in whatever,
Speaker:whether you're a dancer or singer,
Speaker:you know, an athlete or whatever, you're
Speaker:in that zone, what you know, in the
Speaker:flow zone, they
Speaker:call it. That way before you actually
Speaker:perform that way.
Speaker:And that can be in any part of human
Speaker:life. So you've got to actually
Speaker:understand how you want to
Speaker:feel. How you want to
Speaker:be and then it's good to have
Speaker:goals and all that sort of stuff, but
Speaker:there's no don't wait till you
Speaker:achieve your goal to feel that way.
Speaker:Yeah, there's two things that come to
Speaker:mind there. I learned very early on in my
Speaker:personal development journey was that
Speaker:concept of I'll be happy when I'll be
Speaker:happy when I get to the end of this term,
Speaker:or I'll be happy when this project's
Speaker:finished, I'll be happy. Yeah, we've all
Speaker:done it, right? And there's probably
Speaker:times we still get drawn into it. Just
Speaker:gotta get, just gotta get through this
Speaker:next thing. But it's not how it works
Speaker:because there's always another thing,
Speaker:being able to prtise that I iori
Speaker:like, I like. Les Brown talked about the
Speaker:goal is not because you have to achieve
Speaker:the goal. The goal is who you have to
Speaker:become to move towards that. And
Speaker:then the goal posts will move because as
Speaker:you grow and as you. Start to become more
Speaker:of that person that needs to get there.
Speaker:You realise that it's probably not what
Speaker:you wanted anyway. So rather than being a
Speaker:like a destination and an achievement and
Speaker:all those things that keep us stuck, they
Speaker:are they're just arbitrary flags and
Speaker:they're ground somewhere at some point in
Speaker:the future, which help us to, to then
Speaker:become that person. So like you said,
Speaker:it's not an accident. These people that
Speaker:win they, they still have the outcome
Speaker:that they want. They still have a vision
Speaker:for what their future looks like, but
Speaker:they're also have the ability to be
Speaker:flexible and know that. Not always a
Speaker:straight line. Yeah, it's a direction.
Speaker:The other thing I always, I always share
Speaker:is that look,
Speaker:it's easier to sit on the lounge than it
Speaker:is to exercise, right? Yeah,
Speaker:it's easier to go to Maccas than is to
Speaker:cook a really healthy home cooked meal.
Speaker:It's far easier to have the shits, to be
Speaker:a victim that is to be happy or inspired,
Speaker:you know what I mean? So.
Speaker:It's, I'm not saying it's difficult to be
Speaker:happy and inspired, but it's, it's not as
Speaker:easy as it is, to be fair, thinking this
Speaker:has been going 43 minutes and like, come
Speaker:on, you know, and you haven't talked
Speaker:footy yet. Yeah, you know what I mean?
Speaker:It's it's you've got to make a conscious
Speaker:choice of how you want to be
Speaker:and it's not easy.
Speaker:It's not easy. Yeah, it's not easy. Go to
Speaker:the, you know, like what time is it at
Speaker:4:30? I'm gonna have to, you know, like
Speaker:I'll train at 5:30 today. You know,
Speaker:that that might be an easy, just probably
Speaker:won't do that, but. I'm just
Speaker:saying, is it that, you know, being
Speaker:inspired or, you know, feeling in a
Speaker:certain way sometimes really challenging,
Speaker:but the more you work on it during
Speaker:challenging times, it's like just putting
Speaker:extra weight on the bar. That means that,
Speaker:you know, you develop that thing they
Speaker:call resilience. Or the
Speaker:capacity to be clear when when
Speaker:the dung hits a fan.
Speaker:Yeah, love that. It's building the
Speaker:resilience muscle because it's something
Speaker:that can be worked on and can be
Speaker:increased, especially when the times are
Speaker:tougher. You mentioned there about
Speaker:finding that inspiration. What I know,
Speaker:and I'm sure you know too from your own
Speaker:journey, is when you've been through
Speaker:something really challenging.
Speaker:When you know that things can be
Speaker:different and you want to be able to pay
Speaker:that forward to people because you know.
Speaker:Like it doesn't have to be like this. You
Speaker:see the people who, who wear, who are
Speaker:where you were and that brings us that
Speaker:sense of purpose. You don't always have
Speaker:to wait for the, you know, I talked
Speaker:about it being the truck, You know, you
Speaker:talked about like when the, when the, uh,
Speaker:the pain gets to that level of
Speaker:excruciating. I can't remember the exact
Speaker:word you use or agony, I think you said.
Speaker:But you don't have to get to that point
Speaker:to find a sense of purpose. So I'd
Speaker:love to hear your thoughts because I'm
Speaker:sure within the change room this is an
Speaker:element you talk about. I'm sure when
Speaker:you're coaching footy there was an
Speaker:element of that as well. What can you
Speaker:share around sense of purpose, how much
Speaker:you have from from what you're doing now,
Speaker:given that you're giving back and how
Speaker:important that is for people's well being?
Speaker:I think the thing that we all see and the
Speaker:biggest issue with this is the purpose
Speaker:has to be again about, you
Speaker:know, we so, and I'm guilty of this. So
Speaker:please don't think I'm being judgmental
Speaker:of anyone is is that quite often
Speaker:people see abilities in US and see
Speaker:capacities in US and they
Speaker:try, they want to help for all good
Speaker:reasons, help us shape this purpose.
Speaker:You know, in our life. So I think any
Speaker:real consequential purpose and any real
Speaker:achievements come when it's been shaped
Speaker:by yourself. Yeah, yeah. Where you
Speaker:actually understand and that's where
Speaker:journaling is really helpful. I find the
Speaker:tactile nature of what is it I actually
Speaker:want in life. How do I want to
Speaker:be and what is it that I want and was So
Speaker:you know, I tell you is that what I would
Speaker:do when I do that, I write it all down. I
Speaker:go away from I go back and read it
Speaker:because quite often I go that no.
Speaker:My subconscious condition conditioning is
Speaker:still not. I'm still not over there. So,
Speaker:you know, I'm, I'm looking at how people
Speaker:will look at me externally, what I think,
Speaker:you know, all the parameters that we have
Speaker:placed on us in life about, you know,
Speaker:income and, you know, what we need to do
Speaker:to, to do all these different things.
Speaker:I think real purpose comes from, yeah,
Speaker:self exploration.
Speaker:And the more that you can do it, the more
Speaker:that you can understand yourself. And
Speaker:that's not to say that you ignore other
Speaker:people. That's not to say that you don't
Speaker:help other people do the same thing.
Speaker:Yeah, but you got to ask the right
Speaker:questions of yourself, and you got to ask
Speaker:the right questions of other people
Speaker:rather than, you know, I
Speaker:always, I shouldn't give this away, but
Speaker:I'm doing a talk on this some stage,
Speaker:and this is First Nations.
Speaker:Wisdom is that you know, in us we have a
Speaker:a tormentor. Yeah, that
Speaker:loud voice in your head that I cause like
Speaker:the loud fan of the crowd, get them
Speaker:onside, you know? You
Speaker:know, you didn't pay to go and see that
Speaker:person, but that's all you can hear the
Speaker:whole time, right? So there's, we all
Speaker:have a tormentor, that loud voice in our
Speaker:head. It's like a screeching cockatoo
Speaker:in your head. And then you have a
Speaker:mentor, they have a tormentor, and then
Speaker:you have a mentor. And your mentor is
Speaker:what I call the quiet coach. That.
Speaker:Person where they're part of you that
Speaker:where purpose resides is not going to
Speaker:come to you and tell you you need to do
Speaker:this. You you need to go to the
Speaker:the quiet coach and go now what do I need
Speaker:to do here? What are your reckons a good
Speaker:idea and like most really great
Speaker:coaches. Your quiet coach will probably
Speaker:answer that question with a question.
Speaker:That's a really good question, Matt. You
Speaker:know, like have you put any time
Speaker:into this and have you thought about this
Speaker:enough?You know so
Speaker:and again that that the
Speaker:tormentor. It's only loud
Speaker:'cause it cares. Yeah. It's not
Speaker:there because it's trying to, you know,
Speaker:send you off and get you kicked out of
Speaker:the stadium, right? Yeah,
Speaker:it, it's there to get your attention.
Speaker:But the more that you go to the quiet
Speaker:coach, the more that, that,
Speaker:that the tormentor goes off. I might as
Speaker:well, you know, might as well shut up.
Speaker:This is not working, yeah.
Speaker:That's what the tormentor is like, the
Speaker:screeching cockatoo. It's the warning
Speaker:sign. It's it's there for a reason. It
Speaker:does serve a purpose. But the best
Speaker:description I heard is it's it's it's
Speaker:your servant. It's not your master.
Speaker:Yeah, it's, it's there to help you on the
Speaker:journey, but it's it's more of that
Speaker:quiet voice. It's going to be helping you
Speaker:to to master yourself. Well, I tell you,
Speaker:if you tell it to shut up, it just gets
Speaker:louder. And,
Speaker:you know, if you try to ignore it, it
Speaker:gets even louder again. So the only way
Speaker:to make a quieter down is to go somewhere
Speaker:else to get the advice. And it goes, oh,
Speaker:well, you're not listening to me, I'll
Speaker:shut up then. That's good like that.
Speaker:Yeah. And that's
Speaker:what you've got to do. And that's. Yeah,
Speaker:that's a really simple way of what I see
Speaker:so many people dealing with. If
Speaker:they got loud voice in their head, that
Speaker:just is absolutely punishing them
Speaker:24/7.
Speaker:And you said that a few times. It is
Speaker:simple, but sometimes it is that simple.
Speaker:It is taking that time to, to slow
Speaker:yourself down and, and quiet the voice.
Speaker:And it doesn't mean that it's not
Speaker:challenging. It doesn't mean that you
Speaker:sometimes you need to have some external
Speaker:structure and process to help you. But
Speaker:like, you've got to start. You've got to
Speaker:start with simplicity because you, as you
Speaker:said, we get really good at
Speaker:overcomplicating things.
Speaker:The biggest cause of longevity on the
Speaker:planet. This is all scientifically
Speaker:researched and I would have thought it
Speaker:was exercise or diet. No it's not.
Speaker:It's human connection. It's connecting to
Speaker:other people and look. And while some of
Speaker:the you know what, we've already talked
Speaker:about stuff from the past.
Speaker:Of way of dealing with emotions was
Speaker:very antiquated, very poor. We haven't
Speaker:really addressed in modern life how to
Speaker:do it better other than to recognise that
Speaker:we've got, we've got to do it better. But
Speaker:what did happen at a much
Speaker:higher level in a much healthier way with
Speaker:all that stuff you talked about down,
Speaker:People used to hang together and they
Speaker:had conversations together and they were
Speaker:OK with being bored together. I didn't
Speaker:need to be stimulated like, and
Speaker:again, I'm not being judgmental. I tell
Speaker:you, if I'm bored, I'll go on social
Speaker:media and look at reels on things that
Speaker:I'm interested in and next thing you
Speaker:know, you've watched it for an hour. How
Speaker:the hell did that happen?
Speaker:But that's something that that the human
Speaker:connection side of things is something
Speaker:that we need to create in
Speaker:schools, in workplaces, is that these are
Speaker:no longer just workplaces or schools.
Speaker:They're community hubs. They're places
Speaker:where you come to be together, places
Speaker:where you come to do things that are, you
Speaker:know, exciting or, or not just about
Speaker:work. Because everyone's in the high, you
Speaker:know the hybrid working model, right?
Speaker:And. Which is great.
Speaker:But you know, you know in the UK they've
Speaker:got a minister for Loneliness, right?
Speaker:You seriously? Yeah.
Speaker:Yeah. That's not the only country to have
Speaker:one because we're isolating ourselves
Speaker:even more. We think that we've got these
Speaker:pieces of plastic that we can contact.
Speaker:It's not the same. No, no. Have
Speaker:you done any? Well, not research
Speaker:necessarily, but seen any of the
Speaker:literature of the Blue Zones around the
Speaker:world? Absolutely. The six Blue Zones,
Speaker:that's where that comes from. Yeah. Yeah,
Speaker:absolutely. And so the overriding thing
Speaker:in those places is the connection. It's
Speaker:even deeper than that is that they they
Speaker:still Revere their elders and and
Speaker:the centrepiece and they pass on the
Speaker:wisdom and and sometimes the diets in
Speaker:those places aren't what a lot of people
Speaker:might say are the best.
Speaker:Yeah, a career, you know, and, and
Speaker:Corsica they've. Yeah, they've got, you
Speaker:know, they're the Mediterranean diet
Speaker:Nakano in Japan. I think it's
Speaker:more than talking about, you know, the
Speaker:Italian village. Was it Rosetta? And they
Speaker:talked about they still smoke cigars and
Speaker:drank plenty of red wine and all those
Speaker:sorts of things, but they lived longer
Speaker:than the rest of us. Yeah. And
Speaker:again, it's really anyone who's been to
Speaker:Greece at lunchtime will understand this.
Speaker:What the Hell's going on?
Speaker:You're exactly right. They don't put
Speaker:their great grandparents in homes. It's
Speaker:their, it's a great grandparents job to
Speaker:look after the, you know, help look after
Speaker:the kids while the parents are at school.
Speaker:So there's there's always something of
Speaker:purpose and it's not about. Human
Speaker:connection is not about talking like,
Speaker:like I'm doing constantly right? Is
Speaker:some people just it's it's just a bit.
Speaker:Some people just sit there, hardly say a
Speaker:word. Yeah. Being
Speaker:in a safe area, that's our prime
Speaker:human need. I've said this to plenty of
Speaker:coaches that I've coached, saying as
Speaker:much as the people who have paid for it
Speaker:wouldn't see their value. Sometimes you
Speaker:can just sit with a group of people in
Speaker:silence and hold space for them is one of
Speaker:the most powerful things you can do. We
Speaker:do the. Process and the
Speaker:structure and the work for them to do so
Speaker:they believe that they've got the shift.
Speaker:But there's, there's some it's so
Speaker:undervalued that, that presence and
Speaker:and connection that, that, that
Speaker:unconscious level that
Speaker:yeah, I love delving down those rabbit
Speaker:holes as well. And, and there's so much
Speaker:more we can learn from exactly what you
Speaker:said that, that, that how much that
Speaker:drives our health. Oh look, I've been
Speaker:to a Jada Spencer retreat, 7 day
Speaker:retreat and. You know when,
Speaker:like, you're in a room full of 1500
Speaker:people and you're spending, you know,
Speaker:like three to four hours a day, you know?
Speaker:In that, In that.
Speaker:And they actually measure the
Speaker:vibration of the room through
Speaker:a science technology that was developed
Speaker:by the Russian astronauts
Speaker:just to check their to make sure that
Speaker:they were in a, in a, you know, a
Speaker:positive state. But, you know, it
Speaker:is by the end of it. It's hard to
Speaker:explain what what it's like,
Speaker:you know, and I'm a curious person. I'm
Speaker:not going to go to those sorts of things,
Speaker:but but it's not. It's what you're saying
Speaker:there is not like speculative, it's
Speaker:actually the truth. And if
Speaker:you've ever spent. Where most people
Speaker:have spent enough time where you just,
Speaker:you're sitting with people that you
Speaker:really trust and like being around and
Speaker:you stand up, being in silence for a
Speaker:while, sitting around a fire or
Speaker:something. You don't need to talk. It
Speaker:just feels so good. Yeah
Speaker:, 100% actually wrote Doctor
Speaker:Joden when you were talking that
Speaker:way. And I was going to ask about that
Speaker:because you talked about the science of
Speaker:it. Well, he's done the science of so
Speaker:much of the things that you've talked
Speaker:about today at an even deeper level, like
Speaker:the stories and case studies he's got
Speaker:around curing people of disease. A lot
Speaker:of it doing the emotional work, not even
Speaker:getting into the nutrition
Speaker:is fascinating. So they're definitely,
Speaker:he's got a heap of books. So there's
Speaker:another one for the listeners to to dive
Speaker:into when they're ready. Now it'll be
Speaker:wrong for me not to talk a bit of footy
Speaker:while you're here. Matt, I'm I'm going to
Speaker:be putting this out in and around the
Speaker:kickoff of the season. I love hearing
Speaker:stories. Of the
Speaker:impact of people, I'd love to hear a
Speaker:story. Even going way back
Speaker:where maybe you used
Speaker:communication as a tool or
Speaker:something where you just. Might have even
Speaker:surprised you with your coaching where
Speaker:you just got this fantastic result out of
Speaker:a team that that just, you know, you got
Speaker:goosebumps with how well they played
Speaker:because of something that that you've
Speaker:done to influence them. Yeah,
Speaker:there's probably a lot of like, after
Speaker:coaching for like head coaching for 18
Speaker:seasons, I guess there's there's a lot of
Speaker:stories. But you know, I'll, I'll keep it
Speaker:simple. You know, that that'll
Speaker:go with the theme. It's not really about
Speaker:what you do as a coach. And I think when
Speaker:I look at Wayne Bennett and Ivan Cleary,
Speaker:for example, I can't, I'm still perplexed
Speaker:as to why Ivan doesn't get.
Speaker:Massive amounts of recognition. I
Speaker:am, but it's because it's exactly what we
Speaker:he's quite unassuming and he doesn't
Speaker:yeah, he he just does his thing. He's
Speaker:he's not, he's not selling himself and
Speaker:doesn't need to, but he empowers his
Speaker:players 100%.
Speaker:See, I I was, I was conditioned.
Speaker:Through an era that your coach told you
Speaker:what you to do and you did it. All right.
Speaker:And. And at the time that had power.
Speaker:And I sort of, you know, I transitioned
Speaker:out of that and was sort of in the in the
Speaker:phase where I probably got started to do
Speaker:stuff where I empowered players a little
Speaker:bit too much, you know, a little bit too
Speaker:early on. Yeah. But the
Speaker:the most satisfying thing, and I'm sure
Speaker:Ivan must feel this and Wayne Bennett has
Speaker:been doing it Now I'm I. Reason put my
Speaker:fully IQ up against Wayne.
Speaker:But my ability to develop relationships
Speaker:beside Wayne, he's the best
Speaker:ever. You know, he knows.
Speaker:You know when your wife's birthday is,
Speaker:You know what? What school your kids go
Speaker:to? You know when when your parents out.
Speaker:Wedding anniversary is that. Yeah. So do
Speaker:you trust that person?Yeah
Speaker:, 100%. So it's, it's
Speaker:when you get what I learned this
Speaker:early. I was a better coach earlier in my
Speaker:career than I was later in my career. And
Speaker:I remember when I was at Canvas, a really
Speaker:good example is, is that I was quite
Speaker:gnarly in my first year there.
Speaker:But about halfway through the
Speaker:preseason, the second year I
Speaker:saw, I went hang on.
Speaker:They're self regulating here. They don't
Speaker:need me anymore. They don't need to do
Speaker:that. So when the players start going,
Speaker:hey, hey, don't do that. We do this
Speaker:here. That's when that's the most
Speaker:satisfying thing is when the when the
Speaker:group takes charge of themselves
Speaker:and empowers and it's not
Speaker:only, you know, moderates each other, but
Speaker:also empowers each other. And that's what
Speaker:I see. Be in you know the
Speaker:best teams in the comp now.
Speaker:Is that it's not about they're out there
Speaker:executing a plan to the letter. I can
Speaker:see that the connection between the
Speaker:players. They're having fun.
Speaker:You can tell they work hard. You
Speaker:can tell that they're really committed to
Speaker:their craft. You can see that, you know,
Speaker:I know I know 40 pretty pretty
Speaker:well, but I can also see
Speaker:that they they self regulate and
Speaker:you know, it's that's been empowered by a
Speaker:very smart mentor, very
Speaker:smart coach who knows how to
Speaker:connect people in a way that they they
Speaker:understand each. This vulnerability I
Speaker:understand, you know what each other
Speaker:are best at. They respect that.
Speaker:They're not great at everything. You know
Speaker:and. I do look in
Speaker:all of that, you know, and it's not as
Speaker:though I look back and I didn't know
Speaker:that. I actually did know that.
Speaker:I know I can look back in retrospect.
Speaker:Well, I don't care. I'm not still
Speaker:coaching because of the the challenges
Speaker:that I had made me withdraw as a person.
Speaker:So, so you lot lost that connection and
Speaker:you've got to actually lead that
Speaker:connection. And, and
Speaker:that's, that's what I admire the most. I,
Speaker:you know, I reflect on those times and
Speaker:that's my, you know, my favourite times
Speaker:asa coach where you created that, that
Speaker:feeling. But I look at the best coaches
Speaker:now and maybe because I'm just, you know,
Speaker:you, sometimes you look, you know, you
Speaker:see what you're looking for, but that's
Speaker:what I, I definitely see
Speaker:100%. And I'm, I'm looking at like, who
Speaker:are the clubs that looked like they're
Speaker:having the most fun?The I think you're
Speaker:selling yourself short because I think of
Speaker:some of those years where you had teams
Speaker:punching above. Their weight based on
Speaker:the, you know, I know it's easy to
Speaker:say, but the list compared to other lists
Speaker:and I imagine that you did a great job
Speaker:of what we talked about before is is just
Speaker:being that. Holding space,
Speaker:creating that connection and
Speaker:that's when people do go and do their own
Speaker:thing and feel empowered because it's
Speaker:safe, because it feels good. And I
Speaker:may want to please. I tell you a funny
Speaker:story. In 2010
Speaker:at Penrith we had a really good year
Speaker:. 2010, we ended up running second in the
Speaker:regular season. We had a few injuries and
Speaker:a couple of suspensions going into the
Speaker:semis, unfortunately. But I
Speaker:employed a meditation coach for the year.
Speaker:And the players absolutely loved it,
Speaker:Absolutely loved it. And yeah, it
Speaker:was, it was super
Speaker:beneficial. But this is 2010, right? So
Speaker:just so you can imagine, you can
Speaker:imagine how well embraced me
Speaker:playing 30K to a meditation.
Speaker:At the time. So, yeah, you know,
Speaker:it's, it's really interesting balance,
Speaker:you know, and I think that that's. Where
Speaker:again, where I think Wayne Bennett has
Speaker:got this right for, you know, he hasn't
Speaker:been cutting edge is really dangerous,
Speaker:particularly in team sports because
Speaker:you're out doing things that no one's
Speaker:ever done before. Leading edge is
Speaker:good. Cutting edge can be a little
Speaker:dangerous because it's, you know, it's
Speaker:even the people that you're doing with,
Speaker:they like, oh, I don't know.
Speaker:About this so whereas if you're on the
Speaker:like every every club now would have a
Speaker:mindfulness or a breathing coach. You
Speaker:know, you say in order breathing and that
Speaker:sort of stuff, you know, you know,
Speaker:after tries and things like that. So it's
Speaker:good to see that it's advanced because
Speaker:that's not just about a performance thing
Speaker:that helps moderate, you know, behaviour
Speaker:and and stay on a consistent
Speaker:basis if you know, people can sort of
Speaker:learn that sort of stuff so.
Speaker:I, I, I'm going to say something. We can
Speaker:take this part out if you want, but I
Speaker:remember because I feel like you were
Speaker:definitely ahead of your time. I
Speaker:remember. Might have been when you were
Speaker:re interviewing for the Panthers job and
Speaker:Gus saying I interviewed Matt and
Speaker:I walked away not really knowing what he
Speaker:was talking about. And when I heard that
Speaker:I, I, I immediately thought, oh, he's
Speaker:using language from a
Speaker:different sphere that
Speaker:perhaps the footy world is not quite
Speaker:ready for. That's where my head went.
Speaker:You know, and again, that's it
Speaker:was interesting. Everyone thinks I'd
Speaker:already resigned before Sir Gus had got
Speaker:there. But you know, I Gus said look, if
Speaker:you're going to leave, you might as well
Speaker:leave now. And I said OK, that's fine, I
Speaker:get it, but.
Speaker:It's. It is a little bit
Speaker:on me because if, if I'm speaking to a
Speaker:general manager, for example, and that
Speaker:general manager can't understand and
Speaker:that's their responsibility. They, it's
Speaker:not as though they, they, they've got to
Speaker:tell you what to do, but they've got to
Speaker:understand what's going on because that's
Speaker:their job. So, you know,
Speaker:that's kind of on me. And that's what
Speaker:I've learned is that some of that's on
Speaker:him. All right, this is that, that, but
Speaker:it's also on me to take responsibility
Speaker:that if and that's what. Done a lot
Speaker:better after going away. He says that my
Speaker:real strength isn't about giving people
Speaker:data spends stuff or Deepak
Speaker:stuff, or, you know, Wayne Dyer's
Speaker:stuff, who I'm massive fans of.
Speaker:All right, I never. Goddard's my
Speaker:new, my new one.
Speaker:Is is, but I, I can give people access
Speaker:to it by making it
Speaker:simple and not woo woo ID woo
Speaker:woo woo woo and gallop. Here's the
Speaker:science behind it. Yeah, it's a little
Speaker:bit like I said, okay, you know, people,
Speaker:if I said you look, a feeling can create
Speaker:an event. An event can create a feeling.
Speaker:People will go OK, but if I say,
Speaker:OK, electricity causes heat. Yeah,
Speaker:and heat can cause electricity. This is
Speaker:the this is the laws of energy, right?
Speaker:You can't. Guide energy or destroy it.
Speaker:You can only transform it and that's
Speaker:that's all we can do.
Speaker:Not like
Speaker:so. When you make
Speaker:people understand that, then you talk
Speaker:about how they use their own energy and
Speaker:how they can transform it in in a way
Speaker:that you know whether if you want to have
Speaker:the shits, that's a choice.
Speaker:Yeah, if you want to be
Speaker:happy, you choose. You know, sometimes
Speaker:it's going to be tough.
Speaker:And that's what I didn't do in that
Speaker:conversation with Gus.
Speaker:Yeah, I probably went too deep.
Speaker:Yeah. And I imagine from my own
Speaker:experience that sometimes in
Speaker:situations like that, we want to make
Speaker:sure we show
Speaker:our knowledge, our wisdom. And sometimes
Speaker:it's about trying to prove our value to
Speaker:ourselves in a certain, to a certain
Speaker:extent. Would that be something you would
Speaker:agree with? Yeah, Look, I, I'll also
Speaker:tell you this. At the time I was on
Speaker:painkillers. That's why I had autoimmune
Speaker:disease called PMR.
Speaker:Not not a pleasant experience.
Speaker:I didn't tell anyone. No one had a clue.
Speaker:So I was trying to show up and be
Speaker:functional and pretend I was OK.
Speaker:And yeah, the truth is that I wasn't.
Speaker:And that's no one's
Speaker:responsibility other than myself.
Speaker:You know, I needed to be open about that.
Speaker:And, you know, it was still impacting me,
Speaker:You know, when I was at the Warriors,
Speaker:even though I I've met many and I was
Speaker:past the impacts, you know, they're
Speaker:just, it was something that
Speaker:again, you, if you ignore
Speaker:it. There's going to be a consequence for
Speaker:it, right? And I not only ignore the
Speaker:physical impacts, I ignore the emotional
Speaker:impacts. I'm not all the other
Speaker:impacts that they were on because I
Speaker:thought I had it covered. And the truth
Speaker:is, is that was a complete lie to myself.
Speaker:It goes back to what we, you know, we go
Speaker:right back to what we said because I
Speaker:wasn't checking in on myself. Yeah,
Speaker:I'm working. I'm working 18 hours every
Speaker:day. What do you mean? I've got time to
Speaker:check in on myself, which is a
Speaker:complete lie.
Speaker:And so, yeah, that that's what I find
Speaker:is that when you can look at stuff like
Speaker:that and take responsibility for it,
Speaker:that's where you, you know, I put myself
Speaker:in a position where I can make a
Speaker:difference to myself and other people.
Speaker:Yeah, love it. One of the things
Speaker:that I get people to do is prioritise the
Speaker:what's most important in their life. And
Speaker:generally they put partner
Speaker:kids, sometimes work. Umm,
Speaker:but when it comes down to it, when, when
Speaker:people are at their toughest times, what
Speaker:they realise pretty quickly is the most
Speaker:important thing is their own well being.
Speaker:They're not worrying about what's going
Speaker:on with work. Don't worry about anything
Speaker:else except just managing that. And
Speaker:often, while they may then decide
Speaker:they're going to put themselves first,
Speaker:their inventory of their life will say
Speaker:they're doing something altogether
Speaker:different. What's the, what's the
Speaker:best tip for people who aren't,
Speaker:who are just tolerating, who aren't
Speaker:taking that time to take that self
Speaker:responsibility to check in with
Speaker:themselves? What's the best tip to help
Speaker:them shift their thinking so that they
Speaker:can prioritise that time
Speaker:for them, which will then flow through
Speaker:to the most important people in their
Speaker:life and of course their work as well?
Speaker:Yeah, our mate up here behind us, Wayne
Speaker:Dyer, I think explains it the best is
Speaker:that. You know, I remember him
Speaker:saying if you want to
Speaker:sell orange juice, you need oranges.
Speaker:You can't make orange juice without
Speaker:oranges, you know? And you
Speaker:want to love your family. You want to
Speaker:love what you do, OK? You got to love
Speaker:yourself because you can't give away what
Speaker:you have. And.
Speaker:And yeah, I remember. One
Speaker:of my key mentors, you know, said to me,
Speaker:and this changed my life. This is the way
Speaker:I really went on expedition, he said. You
Speaker:know, your state's contagious.
Speaker:What do you mean? He said, well, you
Speaker:stayed contagious, you know, I said, what
Speaker:do you mean? What do you, what do you
Speaker:mean I don't care what I mean, you know,
Speaker:so your state's contagious. And I went,
Speaker:OK, yeah, I get it, He said to me, what
Speaker:are the people that you love and care for
Speaker:catching off you?Umm, that's
Speaker:good. And I went. I
Speaker:didn't. I still had. Never fails to make
Speaker:me tingle up a little bit
Speaker:because my answer wasn't great.
Speaker:So, you know, I had to, I had to work on
Speaker:my state to make sure that, you know, so
Speaker:I had to work on myself. I had to love
Speaker:myself, which is really tough thing to
Speaker:say for a white Australian male, right? I
Speaker:love this. Yeah, because that
Speaker:used to be the biggest insult of all
Speaker:time. I had to learn
Speaker:to do that. And what
Speaker:that's allowed me to do was, you know, as
Speaker:a granddad, as a parent, as a friend,
Speaker:you know, is, is, is to love people at a
Speaker:level that I, you know. That I never
Speaker:thought I'd be capable of doing
Speaker:fantastic. And if you need any more
Speaker:inspiration than that, I don't know. I
Speaker:don't know what you need. Because if, if
Speaker:yeah, it's, it's what we all want, right?
Speaker:We want to have those better connections
Speaker:with the best people, the most important
Speaker:people around us. So
Speaker:state, your state is contagious.
Speaker:Fantastic. So Matt,
Speaker:the impact of sport
Speaker:on your life is. Been
Speaker:multifaceted. I'm
Speaker:big on what the impact that sport can be
Speaker:gateway to, to so much more, more of that
Speaker:community you talked about more of that
Speaker:sense of purpose, more of that improving
Speaker:well being and health. But do you have a,
Speaker:a vision for, for the future where
Speaker:the the impact of sport can flow
Speaker:through to some of these things we've
Speaker:talked about at a great level?The
Speaker:impact of support, well, particularly
Speaker:high performance sport will always
Speaker:continue to have the opportunity to do
Speaker:that right for two reasons. One, you've
Speaker:got to be. A little bit
Speaker:adventurous. You gotta, you gotta sit out
Speaker:on that leading edge because if you're
Speaker:doing what teams are doing five years
Speaker:ago, you're gonna come last. Yeah. You're
Speaker:always gotta be looking to evolve. You've
Speaker:always gotta be looking and have a
Speaker:curious mind as to, as
Speaker:to. How, how to
Speaker:improve? But I think the thing that
Speaker:again, the simple thing you and I have
Speaker:already discussed is that people look
Speaker:past is what you identified with the best
Speaker:team in the comp, the most underrated
Speaker:high performance tool in the world.
Speaker:Now I've done work at Google, but that's
Speaker:a hard working organisation, you , know
Speaker:and they're going through some challenges
Speaker:at the moment, but they have fun in that
Speaker:environment, you know.
Speaker:I think the best footy team in Australia,
Speaker:rugby league team in Australia, I, I, my
Speaker:eyes work. I don't know what they do, but
Speaker:they have fun.
Speaker:And. If you're involved in sport and
Speaker:it's not fun, you're
Speaker:not a high performer.
Speaker:In my opinion, if if you're
Speaker:looking to learn from sport and you can't
Speaker:take away the fun bits of it and you just
Speaker:want to take away the science and you
Speaker:know, and the data from GPS and all that
Speaker:sort of stuff, you're missing.
Speaker:That's really important. But if you miss
Speaker:that, again, the simple stuff that we've
Speaker:talked about. Your state's
Speaker:contagious, and if you're not fun,
Speaker:people are just going to love being
Speaker:around you, aren't they? Yeah, correct.
Speaker:What sort of I was thinking then when you
Speaker:were talking about, you know, the best
Speaker:team in the com?I think
Speaker:that's why they trigger people a lot too.
Speaker:Like how dare you be successful and fun
Speaker:and, and be yourselves and you know,
Speaker:like, you know, the, the boombox boys and
Speaker:all those different things. Like people
Speaker:from other clubs don't like that.
Speaker:There's problems that exactly that's what
Speaker:I'm saying. That's what triggers people
Speaker:like that's to me, that's one of the
Speaker:great gifts of sport is like it. It
Speaker:really holds a mirror up to people's
Speaker:stuff. You've only got to go on any chat
Speaker:rooms or or community groups or whatever
Speaker:and there's people just at each other,
Speaker:people from the same clubs. And that's
Speaker:that's both the the challenge, but also
Speaker:the opportunity I see in sport is as
Speaker:there's, there's there's so much to learn
Speaker:from from what is. Triggering
Speaker:you, as you said. Whose fault is that?
Speaker:Self awareness? Yeah, that's self
Speaker:awareness. And yeah, that's. That's got
Speaker:nothing to do. This is a really tough
Speaker:thing to do as well because sometimes
Speaker:when you are enjoying things and people
Speaker:are and you're doing well and people are
Speaker:questioning you, you know, it's not
Speaker:actually about you at all.
Speaker:Nothing to do with you. So the people
Speaker:that that Panthers trigger has got
Speaker:nothing to do with the Panthers. Nothing,
Speaker:zero. It's to do with them and
Speaker:they're, you know, they're envy or
Speaker:whatever it is and they need to take the
Speaker:rock out of their shoe.
Speaker:Yeah, we can start a whole other
Speaker:conversation about that, like the grief
Speaker:that Latrell gets, which is, you know,
Speaker:shining a lot on a whole other part of
Speaker:our society and similar things and plus,
Speaker:you know, other areas. But it's the same
Speaker:thing. It's got to start with self. And I
Speaker:love how throughout this conversation,
Speaker:Matt, that's what you've really
Speaker:highlighted, whether it's taking the time
Speaker:to spend some time with yourself or the
Speaker:words you use were self exploration. And
Speaker:that really is the key. For for anyone
Speaker:listening, but also for for the future of
Speaker:how we create more connection by starting
Speaker:yourself. So thank you for really
Speaker:highlighting that message. And for
Speaker:sharing so much of your wisdom.
Speaker:Yeah. Is there anything else you'd love
Speaker:to share before we wrap it up? No, no, it
Speaker:was, you know, I really enjoyed our
Speaker:conversation, you know, obviously.
Speaker:I, I, I'm not going to apologise, but you
Speaker:know, we went a little deep that we went
Speaker:there, we went a little deep. And but you
Speaker:know, that's, you know,
Speaker:that's my truth, you know, and that's,
Speaker:that's why I think it's important that
Speaker:that's shared. Absolutely. And I think
Speaker:people have never been more ready for it.
Speaker:And, and some are still not going to be
Speaker:and that's fine. But for, for more people
Speaker:like yourself, particularly coming from a
Speaker:place of science and, and taking some of
Speaker:the woo woo out of it and making it
Speaker:simple. Much needed and and
Speaker:hugely appreciated. Thanks so much for
Speaker:coming on Matt. Investing some time here.
Speaker:No, it's good fun. Thanks Ian. Cheersman.
Speaker:So like Matt said there, he went pretty
Speaker:deep on a few things To me. The lesson
Speaker:though to take away from this particular
Speaker:chat was how important it is
Speaker:to have that self exploration so to spend
Speaker:some time with yourself to start looking
Speaker:for answers because the answers more
Speaker:often than not are there for you to find.
Speaker:I love the description of the
Speaker:importance of connection,
Speaker:such a simple thing, but how much that
Speaker:feeds into our well being and
Speaker:also how important fun is for high
Speaker:performance. So add those to your game
Speaker:plan if you haven't already. And if you
Speaker:haven't subscribed, there's a heap of
Speaker:people who are watching and listening and
Speaker:haven't subscribed yet. Or hit the follow
Speaker:button. So whichever platform you're in,
Speaker:please do. That helps me get in front of
Speaker:more people to get more high quality
Speaker:guests. That, umm. And if you could do
Speaker:that for me, I'd massively appreciate it.
Speaker:You've taken the time to listen to this
Speaker:whole episode. Now it's time to take
Speaker:action. Commit to one thing you've
Speaker:learned today and make it happen. And to
Speaker:avoid any obstructions, join the Sporty's
Speaker:Life movement by clicking on the link in
Speaker:the show notes.
