#128 – The Game Plan: A Life-Changing Process to Help You & Your Kids Find Direction, Confidence & Motivation
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Episode Summary:
In this episode, Ian Hawkins challenges parents to reflect on the everyday behaviours and habits they model to their children—especially teens and young adults. With honesty and insight, he highlights how kids absorb far more from what they see than what they’re told, from how we manage stress and emotions to how we look after our health, confidence, and relationships. Ian also shares practical advice on how to break unhealthy patterns and build a more aligned, confident version of yourself—one that sets a stronger, more intentional example for your kids.
Discover how creating a life game plan can benefit both you and your family.
About the Host:
Ian Hawkins is dedicated to showing how sports can transform lives. With extensive experience as an athlete, a coach, PE teacher, community volunteer, and manager at Fox Sports, Ian brings a wealth of knowledge to the podcast. His journey began in his backyard, mentored by his older brother, and has since evolved into coaching elite athletes and business leaders. Ian's commitment to sports and personal development is evident in his roles as a performance coach and active community member. Through "Sport Is Life," Ian shares inspiring stories and valuable lessons to help listeners apply sports principles to all areas of life.
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Transcript
Do you ever think about the example
Speaker:you're sending to your children, to your
Speaker:teen or to your young adult? They very
Speaker:much copy so much of what they observe
Speaker:from us. Today we're going to talk
Speaker:about maybe some of those ways that
Speaker:from your behaviour, you're setting an
Speaker:example to them that perhaps you didn't
Speaker:think about. I'm also going to give you
Speaker:some great ideas on how you can make the
Speaker:changes you want to make to be that role
Speaker:model for your children that you are
Speaker:absolutely proud of.
Speaker:I'm Ian Hawkins and this is Sporty's
Speaker:life. The purpose of sport, as I
Speaker:see it, is to see your vision become a
Speaker:reality, find your voice, create
Speaker:strong connections and learn to trust
Speaker:your body.
Speaker:From the very earliest age
Speaker:for our children, it's very much monkey
Speaker:see, monkey do. They are far more
Speaker:likely to copy what you do
Speaker:than copy what you say. I can
Speaker:vividly remember sitting and
Speaker:watching my daughter. I think it
Speaker:was playing The Doll's House
Speaker:and. Just watching the
Speaker:interactions between the parents and the
Speaker:adults and hearing and
Speaker:seeing a whole lot of things that I
Speaker:really didn't enjoy hearing and
Speaker:see the behaviours, the
Speaker:language just copying straight out. And
Speaker:this continues and it's equally important
Speaker:in their teenage years because they're
Speaker:still observing. They're observing from a
Speaker:more mature place and they're also
Speaker:observing from that place of having
Speaker:influence from peers now. So even more
Speaker:important to be. Model of
Speaker:how you want them to grow up and it's not
Speaker:about long lectures and trying to
Speaker:control them because they they start to
Speaker:learn it. You can't ultimately you can't
Speaker:control them. You can't stop what they're
Speaker:going to do and. If they're
Speaker:feeling off, that's not always because
Speaker:of you. So we go too quickly to dive
Speaker:in and want to fix and and
Speaker:worry that we're doing something wrong.
Speaker:Sometimes I've just got things going on.
Speaker:And that's not to say that you blindly
Speaker:let them leave them to their own devices.
Speaker:The most important two things
Speaker:is being that role model. And two, being
Speaker:a really good listener so that when
Speaker:they've got something important to say.
Speaker:They want to say it.
Speaker:For another episode, but I will add there
Speaker:that it's listening without judgement,
Speaker:without instructions, without directing,
Speaker:without control. I'm talking about
Speaker:teenage years now, but instead just
Speaker:listening. Because if you do that,
Speaker:they're more like that. Open up if they
Speaker:feel like you're defending other people.
Speaker:If you're always trying to give
Speaker:suggestions, you're not really listening.
Speaker:Unconditionally. Then I'll shut up
Speaker:and I know it because I've seen both
Speaker:sides, my children, both will now talk to
Speaker:me. But there was a time there where they
Speaker:didn't because doing all those things
Speaker:that I just talked about, making all
Speaker:those mistakes. Let's
Speaker:get back to. What I wanted to talk
Speaker:about which has been that role model.
Speaker:They're absorbing everyone of your
Speaker:behaviours, the good, the bad, everything
Speaker:in between. They're observing and they're
Speaker:absorbing, but the good news is.
Speaker:They will also do the same with your good
Speaker:behaviour. So this is not to say you
Speaker:doing everything wrong. You're doing so
Speaker:many things right, right? Doing so many
Speaker:things right as a sports parent. But
Speaker:of course you're going to do things that
Speaker:you don't really want to be doing because
Speaker:you know your own harshest critic you're
Speaker:already. Being harsh on yourself for some
Speaker:of those different ways that you react or
Speaker:just carry yourself.
Speaker:And when I was on my run, on
Speaker:what day is It today, On Monday, I was
Speaker:watching one of the other mums going for
Speaker:a walk, looking fit, looking
Speaker:well, I think. Cool. That's a really
Speaker:good role model. Now I
Speaker:don't know what else is going on in that
Speaker:mum's life, but I know that that from
Speaker:that perspective she was putting in what
Speaker:she wanted for herself. And again, what a
Speaker:great trait to then
Speaker:instil in your children from what
Speaker:they'll observe, so looking after your
Speaker:physical health. Do you
Speaker:exercise regularly?
Speaker:Are you also not looking after your
Speaker:nutrition? Do you not eat so well?
Speaker:Maybe drinking too much? All of those
Speaker:different things?Now I enjoy
Speaker:being like anyone else. It's just
Speaker:remembering that they're observing your
Speaker:behaviour, like how much,
Speaker:when, how often, How does your behaviour
Speaker:change, All those different things.
Speaker:Nutrition is so important, but they're
Speaker:also observing things like boundaries. Do
Speaker:you stand up for yourself when you need
Speaker:to stand up for yourself? Are you too
Speaker:easy to roll over? And you're an easy
Speaker:mark and people take advantage of that,
Speaker:giving to everyone else, but you're not
Speaker:looking after your own. Backyard, you're
Speaker:not looking after yourself properly.
Speaker:When you do react, because we all do, we
Speaker:all have emotional reactions, are you
Speaker:able to be calm?To
Speaker:sometimes be too quick to temper? Do you
Speaker:overreact at times? Do you react
Speaker:over the top to them at times?
Speaker:Maybe you give the silent treatment you
Speaker:just switch off altogether because
Speaker:they're also observing your relationship
Speaker:with your partner too. How you're
Speaker:reacting to that,
Speaker:they're modelling, they're modelling
Speaker:this behaviour. Now
Speaker:sometimestheir focus is I don't want to
Speaker:be like my parent. So they want to go to
Speaker:the other extreme, which not necessarily
Speaker:healthy either, or they, because their
Speaker:focus is on not repeating, they just
Speaker:repeat. Our subconscious brain doesn't
Speaker:understand the difference between the the
Speaker:yes or the no. It's just a topic. It's
Speaker:just a, a reference point.
Speaker:That's why we often repeat the patterns
Speaker:of our parents that we didn't
Speaker:particularly love, because we try so hard
Speaker:to get away from them instead of setting
Speaker:a path to where we really want to go.
Speaker:So what are the other sorts of things
Speaker:that you don't like? Are you, do you show
Speaker:up confidently or is it clear that you've
Speaker:got different things that you know you're
Speaker:not able to show that confidence? You
Speaker:want them to be confident, but are you
Speaker:being confident? You want them to not be
Speaker:anxious, but are you being anxious? And
Speaker:the best thing you could do, like I said,
Speaker:is if you work on yourself and you start
Speaker:making the changes, they'll see that too.
Speaker:Send it from both my children, we started
Speaker:from a pretty low base, like we'll, we'll
Speaker:make an heaps of mistakes. We're both
Speaker:working in corporate jobs, working
Speaker:ourselves to an absolute standstill.
Speaker:Crazy hours, both of us. We miss things.
Speaker:Big things, things that could have ended
Speaker:in absolute tragedy and
Speaker:honestly I feel like we got lucky because
Speaker:could have gone a whole lot worse.
Speaker:But I now actively seek out
Speaker:help. They have
Speaker:counselling, psychologists,
Speaker:kinesiologists, all these different
Speaker:things because they know the benefit.
Speaker:They're not sitting there and.
Speaker:Sometimes other observations are you
Speaker:wanting them to be more focused, but
Speaker:you're getting stuck on your phone,
Speaker:you're being distracted, you're
Speaker:procrastinating, you're overworking.
Speaker:That's what I was doing. I see those
Speaker:traits in my children at times.
Speaker:Really hard workers, great, but are
Speaker:you getting the balance right? Are you
Speaker:going too far?Part of
Speaker:me. Are you on the verge of burnout,
Speaker:which I see a lot, which I've been to
Speaker:myself, left corporate at the end of
Speaker:2017, I was completely burned out and
Speaker:I've experienced it again in business
Speaker:where I've pushed myself too far.
Speaker:So are you standing up yourself? What's
Speaker:happening in your relationship, all of
Speaker:these things?
Speaker:Now, like I said before, more often than
Speaker:not our focus is I don't want
Speaker:to do that. What do we want to avoid?We
Speaker:repeat it and our children do the same.
Speaker:So what's the answer? Well, the answer is
Speaker:having it really clear.
Speaker:Plan of where you want to go, of what you
Speaker:actually do want. And if you're not sure
Speaker:what that is, look at what you don't
Speaker:want, what you've already got that you
Speaker:don't like, and look at the opposite.
Speaker:Putting together a game plan, putting
Speaker:together the key steps that you
Speaker:know are going to work, having the
Speaker:strategies that are going to keep you on
Speaker:track, keep you committed, keep that
Speaker:desire high so you can manage your
Speaker:time, so you have focus,
Speaker:so you can be stronger. But there are
Speaker:all the things that are going to get you
Speaker:back heading in the right direction.
Speaker:Now imagine having a process that will
Speaker:help your child, your young adult, your
Speaker:teen find direction in their life.
Speaker:Imagine if that process could help you
Speaker:map out the rest of your life as well,
Speaker:especially for those days when you're
Speaker:feeling disillusioned with your career,
Speaker:with your health, with your overall lot
Speaker:in life.
Speaker:Measurement. I'll sit down together
Speaker:with your team and do this work,
Speaker:inspiring each other as you go.
Speaker:Imagine the difference out of making your
Speaker:child's happiness being able to do
Speaker:something like that together. The
Speaker:motivation levels their confidence and to
Speaker:yours have that connection to have
Speaker:all those things in place for both of
Speaker:your futures. So this is what the
Speaker:game plan training is. It's a game plan
Speaker:for your life, not just for tomorrow,
Speaker:but for every day. That is
Speaker:a degree of flexibility in that this is
Speaker:not setting the game plan in place
Speaker:that you have to play it every day.
Speaker:Sport and life is not like that.
Speaker:You need to be adaptable, but you need to
Speaker:have a game plan that you start with.
Speaker:Something to work towards, something that
Speaker:gives you that clarity, that certainty,
Speaker:that confidence in any given moment.
Speaker:So when I drop the details in the show
Speaker:notes, jump on and have a look. If this
Speaker:is something you know you need and you'd
Speaker:love to be able to give to your children,
Speaker:jump in. Love to see you in there.
Speaker:You've taken the time to listen to this
Speaker:whole episode. Now it's time to take
Speaker:action. Commit to one thing you've
Speaker:learned today and make it happen. And to
Speaker:avoid any obstructions, join the Sporty's
Speaker:Life movement by clicking on the link in
Speaker:the show notes.
