#6 - How to Be the Coach or Parent Your Child Admires: Tips for Lasting Impact

And the best part is for you personally, is the impact that's going to have on you as a person, how much better you're going to feel about yourself, the results you're going to be able to get, not just as a coach and a parent or a teacher, but the impact that it's going to be have on going to be able to have on you and your performance in all areas of life, because these high performance principles work across the board. You know that parent or coach or teacher that left such a huge mark on your life when you were growing up. Could you imagine what impact that would have on you personally, if you were able to be that person, for your child or for another young person in your life, to be that sort of role model, not only will you feel amazing for having that impact, but it will help you up your own game, your own performance in all areas of life. I'm Ian Hawkins, and this is sport. Is life. The purpose of sport, as I see it, is to see your vision become a reality, find your voice, create strong connections and learn to trust your body.

To most people can look back on their life and identify that one coach or teacher that they remember fondly because of the positive impact they had on their life. I know when I'm listening to elite athletes or performers in any field, and you hear their stories, there tends to be that same person that had such a positive impact that they can remember the words that they said was definitely true for me, I can think of a few of them that just have had such a proud, profound impact, and I'll be sharing Some of those stories on the pod. Imagine, if you were able to be one of those coaches or teachers, or even better, imagine as a parent, if your child remembered you the same way that you remember that coach or teacher or or other important adult in your life. Now, let's face it, as parents, we get things wrong plenty. That's a given. I'd love to hear from anyone who thinks they're a perfect parent, and our parents were the same. They did the best with what they could, and because we're living so close, then all of our different behavior patterns and some of our challenging behaviors are amplified in that family environment. It doesn't have to be that way, though, and if you can start putting yourself on a path to being a high performer in that area as well, then you can be that parent. You absolutely can. So I want you to have a think about now, what is it about the particular people from your past, from your upbringing? What is it about them that you remember so fondly? How did they behave? What were the sort of things they said? How did they say it? Were they calm? Were they nurturing? They were always encouraging. Were they positive? Just sitting down before I jumped on here with a couple of my old coaches, we just happened to have come full circle, and we are presenting at an awards ceremony on Saturday night, and a lot of what we're going to be talking about is is a positive impact that the parents in the room can have, the coaches in the room can have, and through the same lens, being that positive impact now we were discussing, as we were planning it, and and joking about some of those stories we had one as children on the end, some of some of that Old School parenting that perhaps doesn't cut it these days and probably didn't cut it back then, either, if we're honest. And also the changes that we've been able to make as parents and the mistakes that we've made along the way as well, to be able to have a strategy, to be able to do that would be huge, right? And you can build that, and you're going to start putting that together by starting to think about, well, what, what was it about those people that you remembered so fondly? Because if, if you've remembered as a fond memory, as a positive memory, then every chance, and I'd say better than average, chance, that you have those same qualities, you have the same ability to behave in those ways, just might need some reminding and some structure around that to make sure it happens. The client I worked with a few years ago and later on down the track, after we'd already done some coaching, they reached out because they wanted me to work with their state level, uh. A sports person won't go into details. And while we did work on the high performance stuff, a lot of what we were doing was dealing with their relationship, how that could be better, helping them see how each of them were coming to the relationship, particularly through that sporting lens, and that no one was doing anything deliberately to annoy the other, but be able to be aware of it and then change some of those behaviors. Then they were able to build a level of trust between the two of them that was positively impacting the performance of the child in this situation. My favorite part, though, is that they were both able to identify just how much performance pressure and expectation was being placed upon the other children in those high performing teams, inadvertently by the parents, because they'd been able to make those changes. And again, the best bit for me was they were both actively able to go in there and be able to help both sides change the behavior. They became role models. They became the shining light in that team of how you could perform without pressure, and how you get more done. Get it done in a in a way that didn't feel forced, didn't create negative experience for the young athlete, but actually create memories that both of them will look back on over the years extremely fondly. It makes me think now, as I'm talking I've got a distant relation at elite sports person, and I was talking to their father, and he was talking about how he knows he was too hard on them, and how that had an impact on one of them that they became, they made it all the way to the top, and on the other that perhaps didn't quite hit the same heights, and he was 100% sure that that was due to the impact of just how negative he'd been and how hard he'd been on them. Now I'm a believer that some people are just meant to make it and some aren't. We all have our stories. We all have our journeys. The bits that we all remember is that those feel good moments, which is why we look back on those memories of those important people in our life so fondly. So you got a choice. Are you going to be that parent that creates those awesome memories, or you're going to be the one that's remembered for all the wrong reasons? And are you going to sit back as a parent or a coach later and look back in and have regrets about how you might have behaved? That's the journey I was heading on. That's the path I was heading on as a sporting coach and a sporting parent, my young fella, and I'll go into more details about the turning point story for that one. And you can make changes, and you can create a better environment. And the best part is, for you personally, is the impact that's going to have on you as a person, how much better you're going to feel about yourself, the results you're going to be able to get, not just as a coach and a parent or a teacher, but the impact that it's going to be have on going to be able to have, on you and your performance in all areas of life, because these high performance principles work across the board to remove that pressure but still be hyper competitive. Don't get me wrong. This is not about everyone gets a trophy, and just, you know, enjoying it for the sake of enjoying it like we still want to be at our absolute best. And, and the right process helps you to do that. And it starts with exactly what I said. So that's what I ask you to do after this one, is actually put pen to paper and write down, what were those memories of those people that you that you really remember fondly and and how do you want to be? How do you want to be remembered? What are the characteristics, the traits, the the positive influences you want to be remembered for? Write them down. The power of writing is huge. It'll bring a self awareness that you'll be able to start correcting your behavior and start heading towards being exactly that, that role model that is remembered not just by next generations, but it is passed down to those same young people who pass them on to the next generation as well. You've taken the time to listen to this whole episode. Now it's time to take action, commit to one thing you've learned today and make it happen, and to avoid any obstructions, join the sport is life movement by clicking on the link in the show notes you.